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FOR TWO WEEKS, Violet hadn’t been able to stop crying. Luckily most of her classes were online, so no one had to see her. Except for at work, where they all seemed to back away when she’d start to tear up. She’d managed to hold most of her shit together, but it was especially hard at night, alone in the dark . . .
God, she missed him.
Why couldn’t she just tell him that? Just show up at his door or at Alpha Dog and tell him she loved him.
Except that she’d blown it, big time. She’d had the chance to tell him how she felt when he’d told her he was staying. Instead, she’d made it sound as if she didn’t care, as if his leaving wouldn’t have affected her at all.
What an amazing liar she was, even to herself.
He was never going to forgive her, and what was the point of putting herself out there if there was no hope?
“Everything looks great,” Tracy said beside her, pulling her out of her self-pity.
Violet looked around the backyard, at the bright blue tablecloths and Star Wars cake she’d made for Casey’s fifteenth birthday party. A bunch of his friends from Alpha Dog were there, including Liam, whom Violet had heard so much about. Jose and a few kids from school were also there, standing around talking.
Her dad was manning the grill, smiling and joking with everyone who approached him. Their relationship was still hard, still awkward, but that was something only time could heal.
Unlike her broken heart, which seemed to get worse instead of better.
Violet was just laying out the utensils when Casey hollered, “Dean!”
Her heart froze while the rest of her spun around so fast, she nearly crashed into Tracy.
“Simmer down, you don’t want him to think you’re desperate.”
Violet ignored the dig as her eyes devoured him. He looked exactly the same, except his expression was just as closed off as the first day they’d met.
What did you expect? That you would tell him it’s over and he’d be excited to see you?
She watched him hand Casey a wrapped package, and then Casey said something that had made him look around. When his gaze found hers, she had the crazy urge to run to him.
Instead her feet seemed glued to the grass as Casey walked away with his present and Dean made his way toward her.
“Hey, you are squeezing my hand!” Tracy hissed.
Violet released her hold on Tracy, hadn’t even realized she’d reached out for her. “You are not being supportive.”
“Why, because I won’t let you crush my hand or because I am about to leave you alone with the man you still love?”
“Tracy, I swear—”
But she was already gone, and Dean was now in front of her.
“Hello, Violet.”
She swallowed and pasted on what she hoped was a welcoming smile. “Hi, Dean.”
“How are you?” he asked.
Miserable. “I’m fine, how are you?”
“Good.”
Well, this isn’t awkward at all.
A thousand things Violet wanted to say raced through her mind. How she’d missed him. That she was sorry and wished she’d handled things differently.
That she still loved him so much it had been hard to think of him without hurting.
