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“You should have just told me about the letters. Yes, I broke down emotionally, but you should have told me when we started getting close.”
“Like I said, I was honoring his wishes.”
“And being selfish. You said that too.”
Jared sighed, running a hand over his face. “I can’t tell if you’re apologizing or you want me to. Again.”
“No, this is all me. I acted like a jerk about the letter instead of sitting down and listening calmly, letting you explain.”
“Alright.” What the hell else could he say? Everything she said was true.
“I want you, Jared. I want this.”
Jared stood there, hearing her say all the things he’s always wanted…but her abandonment was still too fresh in his mind. He wanted her to call, apologize, ask him to work it out, but the reality was, his insecurities were very real when it came to Anna Beth. Her reaction to the letters went immediately to her distrusting him and his intentions, when he’d never given her a reason to think his feelings weren’t genuine.
“I appreciate your candor and you’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Wait, that’s it?” she asked.
“For now, yeah.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You had a day and a half to cool down and figure out what you wanted to say to me. I’m sure you can appreciate I might want some time, too.” Her face fell and it took everything in him not to reach out and drag her into his arms. “The thing is, I feel like I’ve been very clear about the way I feel. I’ve been worried from the start about you not being in this with me. You were so quick to accuse me of betraying you. I just need more time to process.”
“It was a fight, Jared. Couples fight. They have misunderstandings and they overcome. That’s how relationships work.”
“I’ve never been in a relationship that lasted, so I don’t have anything to compare this to. All I know is your accusations broke my fucking heart. You walking away and not wanting to discuss this as a couple hurt.”
“I’m so sorry.” She took a step toward him, but he backed away.
“I know, but…” He couldn’t come up with a single thing to make either of them feel better. “We’ll talk soon. And slow down.”
The weight of his shoes increased with every step away from her, but he needed to do this.
When he left the station half an hour later, he turned his cell phone on when he got in his truck. The whole way home, his phone chimed. Whoever was blowing up his phone, was going to get a piece of his mind.
Jared parked in his driveway, he grabbed his phone and started scrolling. Dozens of text messages from his mom, his sisters, his brothers, and Anna Beth. Anna Beth’s texts to tell him she was sorry and she missed him. His mother wanting to know what was going on with him and Anna Beth. His sisters telling him they saw Anna Beth buying coffee. Grayson wanting to borrow money, again. Forrest, telling him to call Mom.
Jared turned his phone on silent and walked up to his front door. Rip jumped up and down excitedly when he walked into his house.
“Hey, buddy.” Rip had something in his mouth that was flapping in the air. He pried his dog’s mouth open and pulled out a scrap of fabric.
Anna Beth’s underwear.
“Not you too.”
Rip spun around, his tongue hanging from his mouth.
Jared shut the front door and threw the panties in the hamper in his room, wondering why the universe continued to torture him. He needed a full eight hours of shut eye and then maybe, he could muddle through the mess they’d made of the
ir relationship. Once he reached the top of the stairs, Jared’s energy faded and he barely remembered to lock his service gun in the safe before flopping face first onto the bed, still in his pants and t-shirt.
Rip let out a series of excited barks, waking him from a dead sleep.
“Jared!”
Jared bolted upright, squinting at the clock. He’d only been asleep for forty-five minutes.
