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For the first time since Tyler had died, he wasn’t afraid to think of the good times, which made him remember that he’d loved being a father. Did he have what it took to be someone else’s father? He didn’t know but he felt ready to try.
Of course, first, he had to convince Miranda, and after his grand and noble speech in bed that night, he might have to do some serious groveling.
Jeremiah drove to Miranda’s house, and when he began to knock, he realized his palms were sweating. Miranda opened the door and startled when she saw Jeremiah. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “It’s the weekend.”
“I know. I’m here to talk. Can I come in?”
“My son is here.”
He wasn’t sure if she was saying that for his protection or to put a wall between them but he was ready to show her that he was making changes. “I would consider it an honor if you would allow me to meet him.”
“Excuse me?” She eyed him suspiciously. “Have you been drinking?”
He smiled at her confusion, and even though it was freezing outside, he was prepared to stand there and explain himself even if it took all night. “I said a lot of things and they were true at the time but I’ve had some time to really think about how I’ve been structuring my life and I realized I was being an idiot.”
“It’s only been two weeks. What kind of grand epiphany could you have possibly had in two weeks?”
“A big enough one to set some necessary changes in motion.”
“Such as?”
“Such as finally seeing a grief counselor,” he admitted. “I’m set up for regular appointments every week. I’ve already seen my counselor twice and I’ve made promising strides. I’ve even hung Tyler’s pictures on the walls.”
Her eyes widened and she lost some of her attitude. “Are you okay? That must’ve been so hard.”
“It was. Hardest thing I’ve done since attending my son’s funeral but you were right. I can’t stop living. My son wouldn’t have wanted me to curl up and die with him and that’s essentially what I did. I mean, on the surface I seemed fine but deep down I was destroyed. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve begun the rebuilding process and I would like to know if you would be willing to rebuild with me.”
He held his breath until it hurt. He knew she was struggling because he’d hurt her pretty bad but he could only hope that she sensed how serious he was about making things work.
“Why?” she whispered, tears glistening in her eyes. “And what if you change your mind? I can’t put Talen in that position where someone comes and goes from his life. If you’re on board, you can’t jump off when the path gets rocky. There are things in my past—very unflattering and embarrassing things that you might not want to know. I was a different person at one time. I was self-destructive and did a lot of things that I’m ashamed of before I had Talen.”
“No one is an angel and I would never put that expectation on you.”
“My family is so screwed up. I tried to help my mom clean up her place but it didn’t end very well. This isn’t a problem that can be wished away or handled with a day of cleaning. Likely, this is something I’m going to have to deal with a lot in the coming months.”
“I’ll do whatever I can to help you through it.”
She made an exasperated sound. “Stop being so accommodating,” she said. “This is serious.”
“And I’m being serious.”
“What about my position? How are we going to get around Stuart and his stand on office dating?”
“That’s not going to be a problem.”
“Why isn’t it?” She paled. “Are you firing me?”
He chuckled. “No, you goose. It’s not official yet but I have it on good authority you’re going to get a call tomorrow with an offer.”
“How do you know that?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Oh, my God, did Stuart say something to you?”
“Let’s just say my letter went a long way toward pushing him in the right direction.”
“You sent the letter?”
“I did.”
“Even when I told you not to?”
“Are you mad?”
She allowed a tiny, giddy smile as she admitted, “I’m relieved. I was being stupid. Thank you.”
“No, you were angry and hurt. Never stupid. I’ll always have your back. Even when you don’t want me to.” Her smile warmed and he knew he was making the right decision. “I’m not interested in jumping anywhere without you. If you’ll let me, I’ll go the distance with you and Talen.” He took a step toward her, and she flattened against her front door but gazed at him with longing. “We can go slowly. I want to spend time with you and your son. I want to ease into a relationship with him so he knows he can trust me, too.” She smiled and a tear slipped down her cheek. He wiped away the moisture with the pad of his thumb. “Say you’ll give me another chance....” he murmured just before claiming her mouth and pulling her to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, her answer in her kiss. God, he loved this woman. He loved her more with every passing moment and the fact that she felt the same made him giddy as a teenager.
