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Leaning back, she drew her hands up to push against his chest. The urge to let her fingers explore the hard planes beneath his shirt and vest had her clenching them into fists.
“The harm would be to me,” she said softly, eyes closed as she wrestled between pulsing desire and self-preservation. “You have nothing to lose, Loyal, but I could lose everything.”
He went still, and she opened her eyes when he eased back a few inches to see her face.
“Tell me what that means.”
She searched his expression to see he genuinely didn’t understand. Taking a deep breath, she lowered her gaze and admitted, “You have the power to break my heart—in more ways than one. If we do this and it goes bad—when it goes bad, because you don’t do relationships—I will lose not only my best friend, but the family I’ve come to love as my own.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed hard with his swallow.
“I never knew what a family was until I met Asher and he took me home to meet all of you.” Tears stung her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. “Your parents, your brothers and sisters…I don’t know what I’d do if I lost them. They’re the only true family I’ve ever known.”
Chapter 20
Loyal lifted a hand to swipe his thumb over one of the tears that escaped down Roxanna’s cheek. That sharp ache settled in his chest again, making it hurt with each breath he took. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted any woman before, and yet what he wanted would hurt her.
Because he couldn’t promise forever. Not again.
Why not?
He hesitated for a brief second, but quickly retreated from that thought. “So, what does that leave us with? Friends?”
“I hope so,” she whispered.
“I don’t know if I can be friends with you,” he admitted. When her dark brows drew together, he added, “I mean, I won’t go back to being a jackass, but, my problem is, I can’t be in the same room with you without wanting to touch you and kiss you. I get hard just looking at you. Especially after the stables.”
As he spoke, her fists had smoothed out against his chest, no longer pushing, more like caressing—and suddenly, he couldn’t resist. He tipped her chin up and covered her mouth with his.
The electric spark was an instantaneous jolt, fizzing through his veins and hardening his body in seconds. Her soft gasp allowed him access inside her mouth, and he stroked his tongue deep. She slid her hands up to thread through his hair as she kissed him back with equal hunger. Closing the space between them, he gathered her into his arms.
He was fast losing his mind when her words echoed in the deep, dark recesses of his mind.
“The harm would be to me.”
Loyal tore his mouth from hers and buried his face in the crook of her neck. There was that scent again. Sweet. Sexy. Tempting as all hell.
He lifted his hands to cup her face as he leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. I keep doing that when I shouldn’t.”
“I know,” she agreed. But she didn’t push him away, even though his erection pressed against the juncture of her thighs. The thought of lifting her skirt made his fingers flex ever so slightly against her scalp.
“Where do we go from here?” he asked.
“I don’t know, exactly.”
Longing edged her voice, and he had to fight with everything he had not to kiss her again.
“Maybe we should start with dinner?” she suggested, her voice high and breathy.
“Good idea.” He moved his body back from hers, started to dip for that one last kiss, but then forced himself to completely step away. Turning his back to her, he discretely adjusted himself as he surveyed the small table. “I, ah, brought a bottle of wine, but given the circumstances, maybe alcohol isn’t such a good idea.”
“Probably not.” She cleared the roughness from her voice and asked, “Water or coffee?”
“Water.”
When she sat down with two glasses a minute later, he’d opened the containers and set out thick, wax-coated paper plates, napkins, and heavy duty plastic utensils. “Take your pick. Shrimp scampi with linguini, tagliolini with truffles, chicken alfredo, or baked ziti.”
“Nothing with rats or snakes?”
