AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘I suppose.’ He put his spoon back in his bowl and looked at her. ‘Look, you seem to have the wrong impression here. I am very good at my job, and it serves the purpose I want it to serve—namely paying me more than enough to enjoy my life. Doing my job well keeps my brother and the investors happy. And I get to live my life my way. I never wanted my job to be my life, so this arrangement suits me pretty much perfectly.’
Explanation over, he dug back into his sticky toffee pudding and ignored Luce completely.
Which was fine by her. No need for him to see the utter confusion she was sure was painted across her face.
She just couldn’t get a handle on this man. Every time she thought she understood something—that he’d changed, that he hadn’t—he pulled the rug out again. Just when she was sure that he was a man stuck in a job he hated, searching for something to fulfil him, he turned round and told her that was the last thing he wanted.
She just didn’t understand.
‘You’re looking baffled,’ Ben said.
Luce glanced up to see him smiling in amusement. ‘Just...trying to understand.’
His mouth took a sympathetic downturn, but his eyes were still laughing. ‘I know. It’s always hard for over-achievers to understand that work isn’t everything.’
‘That’s not... There are plenty of things in my life besides work.’
‘Oh, of course. Like running around after your family and friends, making their lives run smoothly.’
‘Aren’t you doing the same for your brother?’
Ben shook his head. ‘Not at all. My job is my job, and I am compensated very handsomely for it, thank you.’
‘There isn’t a price you can put on love.’
‘No,’ Ben said, his voice suddenly, shockingly hard. ‘There isn’t. But what you do for them? That isn’t love. That’s pandering.’
Luce’s emotions swung back again. No, he hadn’t changed. Not at all. He still thought that he and his thoughts, his wants, his opinions, were the only things in the world that mattered. Couldn’t begin to imagine that he might be wrong. That it might be different for other people.
‘No—listen to me.’
Ben reached out and grabbed her hand with his own as he spoke, and Luce looked up into unexpectedly serious eyes.
‘What do you want more than anything in the world?’
His skin against hers. His attention firmly placed on her. Those were the only reasons she felt a jolt of lust through her body at his question. The only reason her mind answered, You.
Luce pulled her hand away. Note to self: I do not want to sleep with this man. It would be disastrous.
‘I want my family to be happy. Settled.’ Because, she admitted, to herself if not out loud, if they were—if they didn’t need her so damn much—maybe she could go out and find what made her happy.
‘Because that would set you free?’ Ben said.
Luce’s gaze shot to his in surprise.
‘Because if they were happy you wouldn’t have to worry about them. But, Luce, they’re never going to be happy and settled without you as long as you’re still there bailing them out at every turn. You’ll give and give until there’s nothing of you left. And then you’ll crack. My mother—’ He stopped, looked away. ‘I’ve seen it before. You can’t give up your own life for your family.’
Luce swallowed. ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘I think I do.’ The words were bitter.
But he didn’t. And Luce couldn’t tell him. How could she explain a grandfather who’d worked hard all his life for the little he had to a man who’d been born with everything? How could she explain the importance of doing the best job she could, giving it everything she had so she could be proud of herself at the end of the day? His job meant nothing to Ben, was just a means to an end. It was all about the money. So how could she explain the passion she felt when she uncovered a hidden bit of women’s history? When she brought untold stories to light?
‘You don’t. My grandfather’s last words to me... He made me promise to take care of my family. I’m the only one, you see. My mother’s a wonderful woman, but she’s lost in her own world most of the time. And my brother and sister inherited that. They don’t see the real world. None of them do. That’s why they need me.’
‘They’re not your responsibility.’
Ben’s voice was gentle, but the words still stung.
‘And maybe it’s time for a change. For them to learn to look after themselves.’
