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The thought prompted a flicker of guilt. The woman he’d gotten to know over the past week and a half wasn’t that kind of a snob.
Then why can’t I shake this feeling?
Logan glanced up on his way to the register, and his tension headache practically exploded when he spotted Edna Persky standing near the check out. She perused the rack of candy bars, but when she shot a glance his way, he got the distinct impression of a predator eying her prey. Sometimes, he’d swear the woman skulked around town just waiting for a chance to get her digs in.
He took a detour into the next aisle, and when his brain registered the products he’d passed on his right, he stopped, backtracked, and grabbed a value-size box of condoms.
Let’s see what the old girl has to say to these.
After another moment of consideration, his lips twitched, and he carefully selected two more kinds of protection. It was a two birds, one stone, scenario.
Damn, this is gonna be good.
Three bags of chips, and some sale priced toilet paper overloaded his arms just right, and he headed to the front. Mrs. Persky cut in front of him as if she was going to checkout first, only she turned to him without setting anything on the short conveyor belt.
“Hello, Logan. How’s everything at the farm?”
Her friendly tone didn’t fool him one bit anymore. Step into my parlor said the spider to the fly.
“It’s great, Edna. Thank you for asking.”
“Well, of course. I imagine your situation has vastly improved now that you have Joy to help pay your bills. Though, I did notice the sale notice is still up for next Friday.”
“We’re working on things.”
“Ah, yes. That pesky paperwork takes time. Must be nice, though, marrying into money.”
“You would not believe how good it is,” he agreed after he unclenched his teeth. While shifting his stance, he accidentally fumbled one of the condom boxes. He peered around the bags of chips in his arms. “Darn it. Would you mind picking that up for me?”
“Of course…not.”
She straightened with the box of Studded Bare Skin in her hand. Perfect. Somehow he managed to keep a straight face at the sourpuss’ scandalized expression. Her entire face glowed crimson when she shoved the condoms toward him as if afraid they’d tear off her clothes or something.
“Just set it on the belt,” he requested as another box tumbled to the ground. “Shoot, can you grab that one, too? In fact…can I just jump ahead of you here? I don’t want to drop anything else, and I’m in a hurry to get home.”
He set the Ribbed Ultra with the first box before unloading the rest of his items, only slightly sorry for the high school boy running the register. Tomato-faced Edna thrust the second box from the floor at Logan. He placed the 40 count Pleasure Pack at the end of his order.
“Thanks. I probably shouldn’t get so many,” he admitted while reaching for a pack of gum, “but I wasn’t sure what Joy likes best. I figure it’s best to cover all my bases.”
Edna made a choking sound. The checker might have, too.
Logan pulled a debit card from his wallet as he asked, “Any chance you know what kind she enjoys?”
“Excuse me?”
“I asked if you know what kind she likes,” he repeated, slow and loud, as if she was hard of hearing. “I thought maybe you’ve noticed at one of the book club meetings with June when there are snacks out. Does Joy prefer the ones with ridges, or sour cream and onion?”
The old woman cast her bug-eyes toward the three bags of chips he’d set on the belt with the condoms and toilet paper. “Um…I…have no idea.”
“That’s fine. I’ll get them all, and we’ll try each kind.”
He paid for his things and gathered a shopping bag in each hand. Then he turned back to Edna with a smile. It froze for a second when he spotted Grant Walker’s ear to ear grin behind the old woman. Aw, hell…but, it wasn’t like he could take any of it back now, so might as well finish with a flourish.
“Thanks again for letting me jump ahead. Have a good night.” When she made the mistake of meeting his gaze, he tossed in a wink. “I know I will.”
He strode to his truck to deposit his bags in the passenger seat and caught Edna’s departure from the corner of his eye. She’d exited so soon after him, he suspected she hadn’t even bought anything. This time, he waited, and as she backed from her parking spot, he waved goodbye.
“Oh my God, that was the funniest damn thing I’ve seen in a long time.”
