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“There’s nowhere else I’d want to be, sweetheart.”
As I walked back to Cali’s room, everything Mom told me replayed in my head. Just thinking about some of the things she’d confided in me made me shudder. I felt sick at the idea of the sight Ryan must have seen, how it must have destroyed him to think that it was me…
No, I berated myself. I wasn’t going to weaken. He might have thought that body was mine, but when I called, he should have known it was me. He should…
I paused down the hall from Cali’s room. Leaning against a wall, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes against the fluorescent lights above me. Tears stung my eyes, and I tried in vain to hold them back, but a few still leaked from the corners.
Was I being too unforgiving? Just hearing some of what Ryan must have experienced that night turned my stomach. I couldn’t imagine what he must have felt when he saw such a grotesque sight. All this time, I thought Cali was right with the whole “out of sight, out of mind” bullshit. My anger had twisted me up inside, and I’d made myself forget what my Ryan was really like.
Ryan Vitucci loved me more than anything or anyone in the world. He wouldn’t just abandon me. I didn’t know why he wouldn’t call me back after all those messages I’d left him, but it couldn’t have been because he’d moved on or even forgotten about me.
Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I hesitated with my thumb over his contact information. I missed him so much. Maybe if I just heard his voice, I would—
An alarm going off had my head jerking up to see Guzman, who was standing with another guard outside of Cali’s room, rushing inside. Behind me, three nurses started cursing in Spanish and rushed past me. Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I ran after them.
46
Nova
“…the OR ready,” one of the nurses was instructing. “Call the doctor. This baby is coming now.”
My heart stopped at the chaos unfolding in front of me. Cali was lying on the bed, tears streaming down her face as she clutched at her distended stomach. She still wasn’t as big as most women who were about to deliver usually were, but that was because she was barely into her twenty-fourth week.
“Nova!” she cried when she saw me. Lifting one of her hands from her belly, she reached for me.
I ran to her side, clutching at her ice-cold hand. “What happened?”
“I started to cramp really badly, and then…” She pulled back the blanket to reveal so much blood it nearly turned my stomach. “Justice is coming, and I’m so scared. It’s too soon. She hasn’t had enough time to grow in there.”
I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles. “It’s going to be okay,” I promised, trying to keep the fear out of my voice so I didn’t scare her more than she already was. “She’s just too excited to meet you to stay in there any longer.”
The nurses were having to work around me, and then one of them told Guzman to take me out of the room. I shot him a look that told him not to even try, and he backed away, putting himself out of the line of fire.
“I’m going with her,” I told the nurses in Spanish.
“Typically, when there isn’t an emergency, we allow one person in with the patient during a C-section,” one of the women explained. “But she will be under, not awake, for this. We have to get the baby out as quickly as possible.”
I held on to Cali and stared the nurse down. They would have to kill me before I left her willingly. “I’m going with her. She’s scared, and I won’t leave her. Now, do I need to change, or am I okay like this?”
A pair of scrubs were given to me, along with a hairnet thing. I started taking off my clothes even as they began pushing Cali out of the room, changing as I ran down the hall with them. Some guy was coming out of another room and saw me in just scrub pants and my bra, but Guzman shoved him back into his room when he started to leer at me.
“Tell my mother what’s going on,” I called out to Guzman when we got to the elevators. “Watch over her for me.”
Guzman gave me a grim nod, his eyes going to Cali and lingering. “Be strong, little one,” he encouraged. “See you soon.”
“Bye, Guzman,” she sobbed, but she tried to give him a brave smile. “T-take care of everyone for me.”
Things moved so fast, it was like I blinked and then Cali was on an operating table. I was advised to sit at her head. Even though she was already sound asleep, I stroked her face, talking softly to her. It was more to distract myself from what the medical team was doing, but I still caught parts of what they said.
“Too much blood… Alert the NICU… So much trauma. How has she carried this baby this long?” I kissed my friend’s forehead, promising her that I would take care of both her and Justice. They were mine to love and protect, and I wouldn’t let either of them down.
Then the room filled with a weak, pitiful cry that brought tears to my eyes. Justice was handed off to the neonatologist who had come running into the OR only a minute before. He hurried across the room with her and immediately began to work on her. Clearing her airways, putting in an IV, giving her oxygen. Cali had been given meds in case of something like this happening so that Justice’s lungs would develop faster, but she was still only twenty-four weeks’ gestation.
“One pound, four ounces,” one of the nurses called out for someone else to chart the baby’s weight. Other things were mentioned as well, but all I was stuck on was the extremely low number that was my niece’s weight.
Before I could even get a good look at her, they were placing her in an incubator and rushing from the operating room to get her to the NICU. I gazed down at Cali. She was so small and fragile, just like her newborn daughter. Would she want me to stay with her or go with Justice?
Muttering a curse, I kissed her forehead and then ran after the neonatologist and nurse. I caught up before the elevator door closed on them. The nurse gave me a small but warm smile and started asking me questions about the baby’s familial history. I knew a little of Cali’s medical history, but it was considerably easier to answer about the paternal side of Justice’s family.
