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“Noted,” I state, feeling myself starting to glow. “I feel the same.”
I tingle when Eric leans close, then closer, before smoothly planting a kiss on my lips. He takes his sweet—and I do mean sweet—fucking time with it and making sure that I feel his warmth.
My eyes flit over to Chase, who then does his best to best Eric’s kiss with a lustful, electrifying snog that transports me away from this cold, crowded hallway to someplace warm and wonderful for a few seconds.
I snap out of it when a garbled announcement blasts through the speakers out by the stage. I’m trying to listen to the announcer in vain when I see several other contestants scurrying over towards the wings of the stage to listen closely.
I leave Chase and Eric for a minute to join my fellow contestants, but the jumbled announcement ends before I can join the crowd.
I don’t know if anyone could have heard that announcement, but I might as well ask someone.
I look to my right, and the closest person to me is Miss Sexy Australia. She’s looking right back at me, too.
Fuck it, I feel like we’re supposed to be enemies because she hates me or something, but I couldn’t care less right now.
“Did you get any of that?” I ask Miss Sexy Australia’s glowering face.
“Uh, did you get any of that?” she repeats mockingly.
“Look, I just want to know…”
“Look, you, Miss Sexy Naked Preachy USA, I don’t know how you managed to land not just one, but two blokes who are hotter than snags on the barbie. That is impressive, I reckon.”
“Okay, thanks. All I wanted to know is…”
“I mean, with a cunt that’s yeastier than a Vegemite sandwich, I reckon that’s a real accomplishment.”
I give up.
“Good luck to you, too.”
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer is much clearer this time, “the judges have conferred and the results are in.”
The contestants around me start buzzing like excited bumblebees, and Miss Sexy Australia is glowering nervously at the stage.
“So, without further ado, it’s my honor to announce the second runner up for Miss Sexy Universe…”
The buzz is growing to hushed yet excited gasps and murmurs.
“Miss Sexy Japan!”
The crowd cheers loudly. A scream peels out from the front of the huddle of contestants. Probably Miss Sexy Japan, I think it’s safe to say. She claps a few times excitedly before striding gracefully onto the stage.
“And our first runner-up…”
The announcer allows a dramatic pause here, and Miss Sexy Australia’s leaning forward so far I don’t know how she’s still standing on her feet.
“Miss Sexy Australia!”
The crowd is going nuts for her, but after the announcement, Miss Sexy Australia focuses her glare right back at me, like she’s not satisfied with first runner-up, and it’s somehow my fault.
Does Miss Sexy Australia think I’m one of the fucking judges or something? I smile and gesture for her to get the fuck out on stage. Miss Sexy Australia’s face transforms to a practiced, stately expression just before she marches out on the stage.
Miss Sexy Australia does have her fans—the announcer has to wait a solid minute or so for the cheering to taper off before continuing.
“Well, let’s just get on with it,” I hear. Yeah, let’s. I’m glad it’s almost over.
