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Lisa snorts. "That’s romantic."
I shke my head. "It didn’t have to be. It’s not like anything happened. He’s a bit of an ass. He thinks a lot of himself."
"So, a real man, then?"
I shake my head, smiling. Lisa's bitter. Graham left only two weeks ago. I explain to her how it happened, and how he’d joined me without invitation.
"Is he hot?" Lisa asks.
"Oh, my God. He’s gorgeous. Blond hair. Dark eyes. Like an actor."
"Oh, that’s a good one."
I nod. "Same kind of fluid confidence."
Lisa grins. "Sounds like the kind of guy I would take to bed."
I shake my head, irritated. "I’m not going to sleep with him. I hardly know him."
"So?" Lisa asks, finishing her drink and waving for another. I'm barely halfway through my first one. "If that’s all you’re going to get from them, might as well enjoy it."
"You know how I feel about that," I say. "That’s not what this is about."
Lisa shrugs. "I know," she says. "I know how you see it. I don’t get it, but I know. You’re not doomed, though. You can still get out there and have fun. Forget about love. It’s overrated. Trust me. Just do what feels natural."
"Like sex?" I ask.
Lisa nods and grins at me. "Trust me, you’re missing out."
I drink more, refusing to address her statement. I don't think I'm missing out. If I'm missing out on anything, it's love. I want to guard my heart and save myself for the right person when he comes along. It's not even about saving it for marriage. I just respect myself, and I want whoever I end up giving it to, to respect me, too.
Thomas is not that guy.
"You should just go out with the guy. Did you give him your number?"
I nod. "He asked for it. He was so arrogant and full of himself, I should've said no. But there was something about him that made me say yes."
Lisa chuckles. "You see? That’s how it works. Just go with it. When he asks for more, just keep saying yes."
I roll my eyes.
"What were you talking about with him?" she asks.
I shrug. "Freedom. Freud."
Lisa groans. "God, Nicky. You talked psychology to the guy? You might not have to worry about casual sex, after all. If you keep doing that."
It's true. I speak to people about what interests me. Not everyone wants to hear about the makeup of our subconscious mind.
"He started it, though," I say. "It wasn’t me this time."
Lisa shakes her head. "You’re the corniest person I know."
I laugh. Maybe I am, but better that, than be pretentious and lose who I am. I look at Lisa. She'd sleep with Thomas in a heartbeat. He's hot and funny and clever, and she would jump his bones without thinking twice. I can't do that. I’ve never been able to just go with the flow. Who I am on the inside matters more than what I can offer with my body.
Lisa receives her next drink and sucks on the straw. She glances at me with big blue eyes.
"How do you do it?" I ask. "How do you just sleep with someone?"
