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He brings his mouth to my pussy, and helpless to do anything but feel, I let his worshipful tongue lick my pussy lips, then my clit, until an intense pressure builds up within me. It is so strong, I feel I might burst. My squirming only makes my burning ass more intense, the places where he spanked me sensitive and sparking a sweet pleasure and pain in me.
Then his fingers start to work my clit and before I realize what is happening, I am squirting. I am squirting hard, coming harder than I ever have in my life.
When I finally stop spraying cum with such ferocity, Nick unties me from the St. Andrew’s Cross and carries me to his
bed. He rubs my wrists and ankles with a balm, turns me over and rubs down my ass where he spanked me.
We’re both silent and the sensation, the intimacy in our aftercare is so calming that I nearly fall asleep. I may actually have let my eyes flutter shut for some time.
When he’s totally done, I stand up and head for the other room, grabbing my dress and awkwardly heading for my phone. I check the time and realize that we’ve spent hours together. I have the urge to leave…and it is because I wish I felt like I could stay. But I can’t let the intense emotions that our scene brought up in me take over.
4
Nick
“Fucking call her, and bring her to the wedding,” Jeremy insists. We’re several bourbons into the evening and Carrie, Jeremy’s woman, has been so sweetly telling me that I need to go for it. Jeremy doesn’t want me wasting any more time. And he’s fucking right, you know? Caroline and I have something…and after several months of very intense fucking and spanking and fucking some more, I can’t stand the idea of not being with her…but we both have to own up to the fact that even though we pull away from each other, we both want more.
So I do it. I pick up the phone.
And it rings until voicemail, and I’m crushed. Caroline has a life — she’s actually a math teacher at a local high school and she’s probably grading papers right now. Yeah, without even realizing it, I found a woman who doesn’t just enjoy what I do in bed…she is a teacher, too.
But I’m not going to wait any longer.
I call a car (I did have all those bourbons) and when it arrives, I have a text form Caroline.
At school. Pick me up?
I pick up the phone and dial her again. “Caroline…I want you to come to my best friend’s wedding…” I start and I realize, what the fuck, why and I not asking her in person? Why am I asking her drunk. Why are the next words even coming out of my mouth. “We need to talk…”
5
Caroline
Nick picks me up at the school and we head back to my place. Between him being more than a little drunk and me not really wanting to go out, I figure it works.
He wants to talk, he says.
I gulp. “What did you want to talk about?”
“How about whatever you’re hiding from me? Why you pull away from me?” Nick’s face pales and I think he really might have miraculously sobered up in this very instant.
Biting my lip, I suck in a breath before my answer rattles out. “You never acted like we were going to be anything more, but I know we both want it. And I don’t know about you, but my last several relationships left me wounded. In fact, my last dominant and boyfriend decided that he didn’t care about my limits. He put me through pain, our last scene, without any care for my feelings or emotional state. I didn’t know if I’d ever date or fuck again. I thought about how it felt, to feel so unsafe with the person that you’re supposed to be able to trust, and it ruined so many things for me. You found my old profile and I don’t know why I started talking to you. But I knew why I couldn’t stop.”
Nick’s hands cup my face, and I don’t realize I’m crying until his thumb brushes away a tear.
“I want more with you. I want everything with you,” he says before he kisses me.
That night is sweet. He holds me, and we fall asleep on my couch like this, not needing anything but the feel of each other close.
We keep this comfortable relationship pace all the way up to the weeks before the wedding, and when I finally meet Jeremy and Carrie, I’m tempting to take selfies with them and declare them #RelationshipGoals. I’d hashtag it and everything, because I’ve never seen two people more in love.
I talk to Carrie, and I mean really talk to her, and she’s someone who I know I’ll be friends with. She understands me. She doesn’t judge me. I find myself telling her the whole story of Nick and me, and I tell her about my shitty ex.
Carrie, her hair done up like a princess and her flawless makeup making her shine perfectly, tells me, “Love makes you feel safe no matter the danger.”
She squeezes my hand, and we share a dance before Jeremy and Nick cut in, and I know…she’s exactly right.
Of course, I still can’t bring myself to tell Nick that I love him. After everything, even though I know without a doubt that I do love him, I have to let him tell me first, or it is never going to happen.
