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“This was amazing…” I breathe out, and he just smiles at me. Of course it was; his exhausted eyes seem to tell me.
Of course it was.
California Sexing 3/15/2017
I mean, because my job doesn't involve sex at all, right?
Sure, I had welcome back to California sex.
But it wasn't there same. Sure there was the crash of waves in the background, but it wasn't Hawaii.
And then I went to get sushi for lunch today and you know what I realized?
For thousands of years, men have been valuing women based on how big their tits are, how small their waist is, and how juicy their ass is. I mean, they do it so much that women do it to each other now too.
So, lemme start my fucking rant. Because that shit is fucked up, but I almost get why men think like that. Those are physically attractive characteristics about a girl. And taken together, women are very beautiful. No wonder they've had wars fought over them in the past. And like anything shiny, it's something that rich and powerful men have wanted to acquire for as long as history has been written.
Well guess what?
All that is changing with me.
A guy could be a fucking brain surgeon, from now on, I'm only gonna care about how big his cock is and how many abs he's got and how defined his muscles are.
Guy became President of the United States? How big is his dick?
Some guy rescued a kitty from a tree? Great, but what are those pecs like? And how big is his dick? If he's 12 inches, then he's STANDARD. If he's 11 inches, then he's "One Inch Short".
I wanna get men as fucking insecure about their bodies as women. And on the flip side, fuck the world. If I wanna eat that last slice of pie, then fuck you world for telling me I gotta be a size 0.
This shit needs to fucking stop. When I was growing up, my mom told me that I couldn't eat certain foods or I'd gain weight and never get married. It wasn't her fault. The people around me all ate like so little it's still something I sometimes have to work on - to remember to eat. And of course I'm not married yet, but that's because I like sucking dick. Lots of dick. With lot's of yummy cum spraying on my face and on my tits.
Oh, speaking of which, yesterday to the guy that was here, I was like "Yeah, fuck me, Daddy," and he got so weirded out. I mean, he still finished but he was like Jesus what is it with you. So I showed him like the Top 1000 books on Amazon and he was like uhmm, ok wow. Then we had sex again and he was about to fall asleep but I wanted him to leave, so I wrapped myself around him and said "You fuck me so good, Daddy" and he basically left. So I found a good way to get rid of guys! Yay!!
Love and kisses and lots of hugs!
Alexis
So Sore! 3/16/2017
I'm sore from exercise. And by exercise I mean a boot camp program I started!
Seriously, get your mind outta the gutter lol! Although I was telling Jillian Quinn how sore I am and she was like from a booty call? And I was like no from boot camp? And she was like, not from sex? Sex is exercise, right?
And I just shook my head to myself because I am so sore I can barely think. Like I'm so sore that it took me this long to even send out my email. All I wanna do is fall asleep. And wake up in like a year.
So this is the first day of this boot camp thing and it's something I did after Hawaii because I knew after all the eating and drinking I was gonna be doing there I would need to lose 5 pounds fast. Especially since summer is coming. And summer means you gotta be bikini ready. Seriously this summer I need to live at the beach.
So Men of the House is coming to you - a collaboration between me and Lana Hartley - and we're writing as Abby Angel. You already saw the chapter and gave me your feedback - it was soooo helpful and it's coming to ARC this Sunday! Releasing this Monday.
Which is about the same time that Kendall Vs. Twins comes out with Savannah May. So much smut cumming your way. How will you keep your head above all this filth? Oh that's right, we like to wallow in it, like bad lil' slutty angels, don't we?
Oh, that reminds me. I got an email yesterday from someone! Here, lemme show you!
So then I was polite. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. Would you like me to unsubscribe you? And they were polite too - and were all like yes please.
But I asked the last question - like why do you not like me? Why do you hate me so much?
And no answer. Like why the fuck did you sign up for my newsletter?
