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Maybe a handsome stranger will sit across from me and look me in the eyes and ask me what I’m doing. And I can tell him I write smut and I’m writing a sex scene. And he would ask me, do I ever practice what I write? Then he’d see the look in my eyes and we’d go into a bathroom (?) and he and I would proceed to have sex. Then he’d get off at my stop and live real close to me and end up being a world class billionaire chef who also gave amazing massages and he’d scoop me up and take me forever to heaven – also known as The Ritz Carlton Hotel. Here, we would live happily ever after.
Uhm, wow. I need to come back down to reality.
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis
Train
So I read this book on the train...
I loved it! It was so amazing!
Ashlee Price baby, I was reading your book on an BART train and getting all squirmy!
BART stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit.
But I couldn't do anything about it because uhm, hello, I'm on a train. So like I just kept reading. Anyways, I got home a bit earlier and I definitely uhm, rectified the situation.
Oh speaking of, I talked to Match.com Guy #1 after you guys were like yeah give him another shot. So we’re meeting up tomorrow now. He’s taking me to some wine and cheese cave in the Castro. Yeah, I don’t know about going on a date in the Castro. It seems kinda like a bad omen. But we’ll see. I mean, at least this guy is taking me on dates, and he’s not like lets grab a few drinks and then bone, you know? Because sometimes, that’s what it feels like dating has become. Sometimes you don’t even get a meal anymore! I dunno about you, but I’m not putting handling your sausage
till I eat some steak.
And it doesn’t even have to be steak. I mean, I’m happy with shrimp! Or lobster. Even arugula. But definitely bread. Like breadsticks. No pasta though because summer is coming.
And oh my God, get ready to hear me moan about summer coming. So I have boot camp Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this week to get in shape for summer. I only have a month and half. Luckily, my book boyfriends won’t care if I’m pale. Or have that extra few pounds that winter seems to hide so well.
Taxes
If taxes were only like romance novels, life would be easier...
I swear, I can’t figure out which form I should fill out and what I should do. And before you tell me to use TurboTax or a service, need I remind you that I used to work on Wall Street. I should be able to do all this stuffs! But I don’t really like it – I didn’t like it back in the day either! I’d much rather wear fluffy PJs and eat ice cream and write smut and then put on heels and cute underwear and go out with my girlfriends to some club where this dashing and handsome guy would sweep me off my feet and take me back to his place and he wouldn’t forget the condoms so I wouldn’t have to root around through my bag either at 2 am in the morning wondering which one of us is gonna have to go to Duane Reade (Walgreens for people outside New York City).
Anyways, we were talking about taxes. Seriously, so I have to do two sets of taxes. One with my business partner for my writing stuffs and one on my own for me. The Naughty Angel Publishing stuff at least someone else helps take care of – my rationale for this is that I’m too busy writing smut. But for me – I gotta do that on my own.
So I’m looking at this form. And it’s saying business deductions. And I’m wondering do the sex toys count as business deductions? I mean I need them to write to see if a scene is hot or not, ya know? Like test it out LMAO. What would the IRS say?
Oh, to top it off, then I start to imagine me sitting at the IRS office getting audited because for Occupation I put “Smut Queen” since I am like the #6 author in contemporary romance (woohoo!). And I’m all dressed all sexy in front of this IRS guy and he’s like what kind of smut? And I show him and he gets all flustered because he reads it too. And he’s like, fine take all your deductions and I’m like thanks!
Yeah, I forgot what I was talking about just now and obviously went off on a tangent. But it’s good because I needed this break to talk to you guys. Doing taxes suck. I should have done my own way before this. But I gotta get it done today L
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis
HEA
So, guy I was dating has like totally fizzled out…
Match.com guy.
I gave him plenty of chances to express SOME sort of interest but while I could tell that he was into me and he wanted some, he just didn’t act. Even when I gave him multiple openings. I couldn’t have dropped any more hints without like you know, taking off my panties and writing my number on them – which you remember I did in the past haha.
But honestly, in all seriousness, it’s like I would have had to take off my clothes and then take off his clothes and then get him hard and then get on top of him and have sex with him and maybe he would figure out that I was sorta into him.
But I can’t do that. I don’t have the upper body strength to be able to move him like that. So I dunno. I guess I gave him several opportunities and when it didn’t happen, it’s time to move on. And I’m okay with that lol!
But I feel kinda bad because I’m writing these happily ever after stories and I’m in a far from happily ever situation myself. But then I stop and think.
