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I turn around. "Who insisted on a meeting?"
"Coach Karl. He's here in your office. He's been waiting for you."
Shit. The one day I'm running late and I have someone in my office waiting for me. And that someone is Coach Karl. "How long has he been waiting?"
"About 20 minutes. I asked him if he wanted a coffee, but he said no. I'm sorry if I've done something wrong by allowing him into your office."
"No, it's fine," I assure her. She is clearly frazzled. "You've done nothing wrong. I'll go meet with him now." I wonder what he could possibly want. I take a deep breath, open the door, and step into my office. I see him leaning back into one of the leather armchairs by my desk. He is scrolling through his phone but immediately looks up at me when I enter.
"To what do I owe this surprise today?" I ask.
"I'm sorry to be here unannounced," he says, placing his phone into his pocket. It's just, with everything going on in the media right now, I wanted to talk to you."
"Are you here to lecture me, Karl? Because if so, save your breath. I'm already getting it from all angles. No pun intended. Or perhaps you are here to tell me that you signed the petition too?"
"Listen, can you just let down your guard for once? I know your father—"
"Leave my father out of this!" I say, slamming my coffee mug down onto my desk. There is no way that I want to hear him rip open the past this morning and I am growing impatient with his presence. It is too early to rip open old wounds.
"I know you are surrounded by a media circus right now," he says, trying to soften the situation.
"That's putting it mildly," I scoff.
"And I wanted to say that I know what it's like to have to make difficult decisions." He looks at me with his gentle blue eyes. It is clear he came here to my office today to make peace.
"What do you know about making difficult choices?"
"Many years ago, I had a choice to make. Either I keep your father on as coach, or—" he said, and I grimaced, but allowed him to continue. "Or replace him."
"Yes, well. Shit happens I guess."
"No, that's not what I am trying to say right now. I'm saying that I replaced your father out of ambition. I was blinded by the urge to win—the rings, the accolades, a higher salary—and I lost focus on what was important."
I look at him, and I realize that this is the most conversation I have ever allowed myself to engage in with Karl.
"I was wrong, Julianna. There is not a day that goes by that I don't regret that decision. I never should have replaced your father. Never. It haunts me."
"Well, this goes beyond choosing a player to keep or replace on this team." I look at Karl to try and see if he understands where I am coming from. He continues to sit in the chair, patient and humble, so I continue. "I'm guessing I don't need to repeat the things being said about me in the media—in regards to Colt Stackford and Ethan Blake?"
He shakes his head. "No, I've heard and seen it all."
"I know I have made a lot of unconventional choices in my life. That much is clear. I take ownership over that, and people can make whatever judgment calls they'd like about me. But I take my career seriously. In fact, I put my career above all else, and—"
"Yes, I don't doubt your loyalty to this franchise."
"Well, on the flipside, I've never been settled in my personal life. I've had a lot of fun, but I'm now thinking that maybe I need to make a change."
"How so?"
"This is difficult for me to say. I'm treading into new territory here, but I am finding myself in love. And fuck I'm so confused. I don't know how it has happened, but I am in love with both men. Every time I try to picture myself with one and not the other, it doesn't feel right. But for the sake of the team, I know I have to choose, no matter how difficult it may be."
"I don't want you to live with the guilt of a bad decision," Karl says. "It's like waking up from a nightmare, only to realize that the nightmare is your life. You are a great person. You're a terrific franchise owner and businesswoman. If your father were here right now, he'd be proud."
That statement makes tears well up in my eyes. I look up at the ceiling so that they do not spill down my cheeks. I press under my eyes with the tips of my fingers.
"Listen to me, Julianna. No matter what you do, follow your heart. Teams win and lose. Money is made and lost. But the right people can last you a lifetime." Karl's gaze is so intense that I feel as if he is boring a hole straight through my chest. I know he is right, and his sincerity is palpable.
"I know, but it's tough to hear what my heart has to say sometimes. Sometimes it just defies logic, you know?"
