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Sammi: And how did The News of the Times get their hands on it? Isn’t this unethical behavior on your part?
AJ: I think what you need to ask yourself before you ask that, Sammi, aren’t the actions that the video recording shows, of basically one of the most beloved quarterbacks in the game servicing another teammate with his hand a breach of the public virtues? Against all standards of decency, we expect our role models to follow?
Sammi: And what exactly is that
breach of the public virtue, AJ?
AJ: Well, obviously these two star players have been corrupted by none other than Julianna Heaton herself.
Sammi: I’m not sure I follow.
AJ: Think about it. Did the New York Nailers have a problem with sex scandals prior to Julianna? No. Did they have issues with players giving other players hand jobs in the locker rooms before Julianna? No. In fact, each of these videos only demonstrate just how categorically unsuited to be an owner in the NFL. Yes, she may have been successful on Wall Street, but the standards for decency are higher in the NFL. And sure, she may have saved the Nailers from bankruptcy, but her own moral turpitude is going to be her downfall. At this point, the corruption has spread into the team as well. Think about Monday’s performance of the New York Nailers versus the Stepbrothers. It was atrocious. Why was that? Because Colt Stackford and Ethan Blake were more focused on having sex with the owner of their team than they were with paying their dues on the field and winning a game.
Sammi: So how would you attribute the video that’s emerging of Colt and Ethan onto the actions of Julianna though? I think you’re reaching because she wasn’t anywhere near that locker room.
AJ (with glee in his voice): I’m glad you asked that Sammi. And to answer you, I’m just going to say that you should go onto our website in one day. In exactly one day you’ll see the front page of the next day’s newspaper. It’ll show you exactly why Julianna is nothing more than a corrupting influence on the players and why all three of them need to be removed.
Sammi: Aren’t you on your seventh divorce? Do you think the women of America want to hear a man talk about how an independent woman is someone to be chastised because of her sexuality?
AJ: I think you’re a bit biased against me. But trust me, the video I have will have you changing your tune pretty fast.
Sammi: I see a grin on your face. Care to tell us what the video is?
AJ: No, I think it’s best that you wait for the surprise. Because when the world sees this, I have no doubt that the media circus that’s going on will get even worse. And that the Commissioner will personally come on air and suspend both Ethan Blake and Colt Stackford. And then order Julianna to sell the team to anyone - for any price.
Sammi: It would have to be something terrible.
AJ: Remember, this woman has a history here. In the last week since the second sex tape became public we’ve seen her ex-boyfriends who have come forward showing how sexually dangerous this woman was. How she had no regards for the feelings of men at all in the bedroom. How it was always about her. How she would talk about other men and their bodies when in the company of women. How she would objectify men’s bodies - they didn’t have to be there, but the fact that she was doing it was enough.
Sammi: Isn’t that what women have to put up with everyday?
AJ: It’s not the same thing. This fixation with her own pleasure first that her ex-boyfriends complained of was a symptom of a greater problem. The unraveling of the moral fabric of our nation. This woman has risen too far, too fast. And she’s let the power go to her head. It’s about time someone show her what flying too close to the sun can do.
Sammi: Still won’t tell us what’s on the video?
AJ: You’ll just have to wait and find out, like everyone else. I will say one thing though. For too long, Julianna Heaton has been the bad girl of the NFL. It’s high time that she brought back down to earth and taught a lesson that if this league and this nation has no patience for bad girls.
Sammi: And there you have it folks. Stay tuned as we continue our breaking news coverage of the New York Nailers.
Colt
You ever hear of a shit storm?
Yeah?
Well, that’s kind of what my life is now like.
I’m watching the rerun of the SportsNation broadcast in the team lounge. The lounge that just a few days ago I had the fucking greatest sex ever. With the baddest girl ever. And the only other bad boy thats ever mattered to me, apparently.
The other players are looking at me as the television goes on and on, zooming in to show my hand on Ethan’s cock. Yeah, they blur that shit out. They can’t show Ethan’s cock on national television.
But they blur it in such a fucking way that literally nothing is left to the imagination.
You can tell exactly how long and how thick that giant fucking cock is of his.
Fucking Christ. I had no idea this was on endless loop until I walked in and sat down with a plate of food.
It’s not like I can get away from it either. This shit is going to be blaring from the corners. People in some small African country without internet are somehow going to fucking find out about this.
