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I go to the chair and drop heavily. My fingers scrub my eyes, and I try to make this make sense. “How did this happen? The Kass I knew would never get mixed up with men like this. Shit, you were a fucking virgin. I’m supposed to believe you’ve changed that much?”
She sits on the cot, and the sadness is back. “A lot can change in a year. A lot can change in less than a year.”
“It’s time you told me the whole story.”
She presses her lips together before starting. “In the winter after you left, I was diagnosed with… this blindness. I was devastated. My aunt tried to comfort me, but I wanted to die.”
Standing, I go to the small desk holding a crystal decanter. I pour us each two fingers of scotch. “Here,” I say, nudging her hand with the tumbler.
She takes it and lifts it to her nose. “Expensive.”
“You’re at the royal estate in Occitan.”
She does a little nod and takes a sip, flinching slightly at the burn.
“Please continue,” I say coolly, sitting and taking a sip from my glass.
“I was very young… You were gone—”
“Are you attempting to blame me?”
“No.” She’s quiet a moment. “I only meant, I didn’t have anyone else. I didn’t believe I ever would, so I got into… risky behavior. I took jobs for the thrill of it, hoping I’d be caught. I never was. I guess I look innocent. No one suspected me of anything.”
“Glad to know I’m not alone.” It’s a shitty thing to say, but my insides are dark. My whole world has turned to shit.
She doesn’t skip a beat. “A friend of mine knew a guy.”
“Isn’t that how they all start?”
“I don’t know about all.” She takes another sip of her scotch. Another wince. “He said I could make a lot of money carrying drugs from one place to another. I didn’t have to touch anything. I didn’t even have to speak to anyone. I carried them in my purse, then I left my purse at the designated drop. I did it twice, and then I met Blix.”
“It only took two times?”
“I think he liked me.” She shakes her head and tilts her glass side to side a little too fast. “He wanted me to work directly with him. He wanted me to go with him to Miami, but I said no.”
My insides twist tighter and tighter with every word, and it all comes out as cruel commentary. “Why? You were an adrenaline junkie. Why not go with him.”
“My aunt was killed.” Her voice shakes and my stomach churns. “I couldn’t leave Cameron. I suddenly realized what I was doing, and I wanted out.”
She falls silent. I don’t speak, and the noise of the rain surrounds us like a blanket. It drowns out the silence with the deluge of water washing in, whether it’s cleansing, I can’t tell.
I break the silence. “Let me guess. He wouldn’t let you out?”
“I’d kept my blindness from him. He had no idea until the first time I was cheated. I was supposed to bring back ten grams of pills, and I was short by twenty.”
I’m confused. “Twenty pills?”
“Yes. It felt like the right amount, but when Blix counted, I was short.” She finishes her glass of scotch, and I take it, pouring us both a refill. “No more for me,” she says shaking her head. Her eyes are tired. My eyes are tired, but I have to hear this. I hand her the tumbler of scotch and sit back with my own.
“Go on,” I say.
She nods, wiping the back of her hand over her nose. “He said he would cut off a digit for every pill—all my fingers and my toes.”
“Jesus,” I groan.
“I was terrified.” She tilts the crystal tumbler back and forth then takes another sip. “I told him everything. That I was blind, my aunt had died, my little brother needed the money… He was repulsed. He didn’t like that I was disabled.”
“Asshole.”
