Page 60 of Dirty Dealers


Font Size:  

Leaning down, I hug his wagging body. “Je vous ai manqué,” I say. I’ve missed you.

Our reunion is cut short by the noise of Luc’s door opening. He calls his pet home, and at once the little dog pulls away, headed back to his master. I sit listening to him click across the hardwoods until the wooden door closes.

&

nbsp; No word for me.

No surprise.

“Maybe I’ll get a dog,” I say, pushing off my knees and going to my door. I wonder what Henri would think of that.

Reaching up, I slide my fingers along the doorframe until I find my spare key. My apartment is also the same as when I left it, and I try to remember that night. Logan had walked me to my door after blowing my mind in the alley. The memory makes my stomach hurt.

He’d told me not to leave. He’d told me to be here in the morning. I left without even saying goodbye. Twice.

Going to my dresser, I slide the top drawer open and feel around inside for my nightshirt. I lift the thin sweater I’m wearing over my head and fold it carefully. Ava said it’s white, and it’s so soft and delicate, I can only imagine it’s super expensive. Holding the furniture, I pull off the tall boots, and finally, I peel off the skinny jeans she gave me. I’m not sure if she wants them back, but I don’t want to keep anything without permission, not even boots.

I reach around and unfasten my bra, deciding I’ll keep the underwear. I’m sure there would be no misunderstanding about that. Our entire building shares heat, so my room isn’t cold. I stand for a moment and slide my palms over my breasts. In the quiet, I remember Logan’s mouth against my skin, the scruff of his beard against my nipples. They harden, and I slide my thumbs over them. Heat floods my panties, and I lower my arms, wrapping them around my waist.

“I did have you,” I whisper to the air. “For a little while you were mine again.” It was only a moment, but I believe it with all my heart.

Going to the bed, I push through the cool sheets and curl into a ball. With my eyes closed, I can see his broad shoulders. My fingers tingle with the memory of his chest dusted with coarse, sparse hair. It’s painful and miserable, and I miss him so much.

I can only blame myself. I could have trusted him that last night if I hadn’t been afraid. I wasn’t only afraid, though. I was ashamed, and I couldn’t share my guilt with him. I didn’t want him to see me for what I had become, and now his warmth is turned away from me. Now she has it.

Pain like a knife pierces my stomach. I’ve only ever loved Logan Hunt. His dark hair and steel blue eyes, his cocky grin… that tall, lean physique that ran by me on the beach that day six years ago… he’s lived in my memory so long, and he’s only gotten better since we were apart. Now he’s broad shoulders and massive arms. He lifts me as if I’m a doll, and he’s so focused and commanding. The boy I fell in love with has turned into a man I can’t live without. I don’t know how I’ll ever let him go…

Then don’t.

The words appear like lights in the darkness. I don’t know yet what that means, but I know he’s here. As long as he’s here, I have a chance.

“I still love you, Logan Hunt,” I whisper into the darkness, closing my eyes.

Watching

Logan

I fucking hate this.

I barely even remember having feelings for Zelda, and I’m standing in Ava’s office talking to her on Skype as if nothing has changed.

Granted, it’s not all acting. I do care about Belle and I miss carrying her around the island. She’s a beautiful little baby, and I can only dream that one day I might be lucky enough to have that for myself. With Kass.

The distance between guards and the royal family was much closer in the West Indies, but since I’ve reunited with Kass, I realize my feelings for Zelda were a clear redirect, a longing for something I’d lost. My mind drifts to images of Kass’s body changing, her belly growing round with my baby, and I want it so much.

I want the woman currently standing behind me in the doorway listening to every word I say. It’s tearing me up inside, but I focus on the infant with a halo of blonde curls just learning to recognize the faces that love her.

“Please come and visit us soon,” Zelda says to me.

The warm breeze moves her blonde hair across her face, and she pushes it away. The baby pats her mother’s cheeks with chubby hands, and I can see the crystal waters behind them. I’d love to share that happy place with Kass, show her she has nothing to fear.

Belle lunges forward against her mother’s mouth. It makes me smile. “I’ll see what I can do” is all I say.

I hear it the moment Kass leaves. She bumps against the doorframe before practically sprinting from the room. My jaw clenches because I know she can’t see what’s happening here. I know all she can hear are our words and the way we say them.

I fucking hate this.

I say a quick goodbye and leave just as Ava joins us, launching into an animated chat with her sister. I follow at a distance, not wanting Kass to know I’m right behind her. Reggie convinced the rest of the team it would compromise her less if she didn’t know we’re using her for bait. I think that plan is as wrong-headed as it can be.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com