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“Thank you.” My eyes are fixed on the glossy wooden table as Cal escorts the man out of the room.
“Freddie, André, give us a few moments,” my husband says.
The two men leave, and we wait until the heavy door closes behind them.
“What’s troubling you, Ava?” Rowan’s deep voice soothes my tattered insides, but it can’t assuage the guilt.
“The inspector said I didn’t do anything wrong.”
My husband rises from his seat and walks to where I’m sitting. Leaning beside me against the heavy wood, he takes my hands in both of his. “You disagree?”
“I don’t know.” It’s as if the burden of the last ten years, the last several weeks, all of it, is suddenly rolling over me in a tidal wave of emotion. “Didn’t I?”
Rowan is quiet, and I can see by his eyes he’s choosing his words. “Only you can answer that question. I’m inclined to say no. The only thing I wish you had done differently was let me help you, but otherwise, you were just as much a victim of this man as anyone.”
I’m going through the evidence, I’m searching through the years trying to see if there was anything I could have done differently that might have changed this outcome. Had there been any point in the timeline where I could have done something to stop what happened? Wou
ld those women still be alive?
“I stole the money.” I’m looking at my hands, my light fingers clutched in his strong ones. “It was the first thing I ever stole.”
“You said it was an accident.” His voice is gentle. “Was that true?”
I think about that morning, the sun rising over the concrete culvert. Zelda had been asleep, her forehead pressed against her bent knees. I’d taken the ancient wallet from the pocket of my too-small raincoat, and as the sun had risen in the bright blue Florida sky, I’d seen the faces of the other girls.
“I meant to steal the wallet, but I never meant for what came next,” I say. “I wanted my picture, but when I saw them, I knew they were like me. They weren’t trash…”
Then I found the note.
He lifts my hands and kisses them. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Blinking away the tears, I look up at him. “I survived.”
* * *
Zelda takes the news of what I did much better than I ever would have expected. “I just wish you’d have let me help you,” is all she says.
Today we’re back in the car, Hajib driving, and we’re climbing into the foothills headed to my orphanage. Clare had called a few days ago to let me know Sanaa’s visit to collect Suad had all been arranged, and of course, I had to be there. Zee had insisted she wanted to come with me.
“I’m invested now,” she laughs. “I’m ready to cry when this little girl finally goes home with her family.”
The car rises higher, and the pavilion at Pointe de la Vielle comes into view. Tightness moves across my throat, and I blink down. My sister doesn’t miss a thing.
She reaches for my hand. “It’s over now, Ava-bug. You have to let it go.”
I think about her words, and I know she’s right. Still, this weight is pressing on my shoulders. “It’s not over yet, Zee. I still have to give Emily the money. I have to be sure Ramona is taken care of.”
From the security of her car seat, Belle reaches for me, and I scoot closer, putting my arm around the top of her chair.
“You need to talk to Rowan about it,” Zee says, handing her daughter a cup. I wrap my niece’s golden curls around my finger.
“I’ll talk to him about it tonight.”
“Whatever happens, next time, let me help you. Or him? Don’t go off on your own. We want to be there for you.”
I reach out for her hand and clasp it in mine. “I promise.”
The car stops, and Zee squeezes me. “I want you to think about what’s about to happen here and take it to heart. This is what you’re about Ava-bug. This is who you are.”
