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Nothing can really bother me as long as I’m in his arms, and outside of that, I’d feel sorry for anyone or anything that got between me and him.
We make it back to the train in time, the conductor glancing at his watch before he apologizes to Michael.
“Sorry sir, we gotta make up for some lost time. Thought we’d lost you for a minute there,” he smiles.
Keeping a hold of me, Michael climbs the steps back onto the train.
“Everything alright, sir?” The conductor asks, noting him still carrying me.
“Never better,” Michael says heartily, stooping to avoid bumping his head and then moving so he can carry me inside the rail car properly before he has to set me down because it’s just too narrow.
No trains on the honeymoon.
The idea startles me at first like it’s actually Michael’s voice I can hear but I think we both have the same idea at the same moment.
No more trains after tonight. Not for a while at least.
We sit in the lounge car for quite a while, long after the train’s moving again.
Without even checking, I know Suzanna’s back in our sleeper.
I can just feel it.
Once the steward yawns and asks if there’s anything else he can get for us, we get the hint.
Time for us to go to sleep.
I stand, and Michael moves to walk me back to my sleeper, but I stop him.
Resting a hand on his chest again before holding him for a moment.
“I’ll be alright,” I tell him, feeling now just how much he doesn’t want to let me go.
Not now and not ever.
And not because he’s clingy either, just because my place is by his side.
“Just for tonight,” he reminds me solemnly, stroking my hair back before kissing me.
I can feel him watching me as I go to my shoebox of a compartment.
I don’t turn to look, even walk out of the lounge car doors and into our sleeper carriage.
Being away from him, even just for tonight feels wrong now somehow.
Just like we’ve both decided no more trains after tonight, I know I’ve made another vow too.
Only sleeping in our bed from now on, the two of us. Wherever we are.
The sleeper compartment is dark when I open the door, which is fortunately unlocked.
I can make out the shape of Suzanna on the top bunk, her back to me, pretending to be asleep.
I quietly slip into my own bunk, pull the covers back and notice how cold everything feels without Michael. I try and get comfortable.
“I thought you’d be with him tonight,” Suzanna finally says, making me jump a little at the sound of her voice.
The sheets aren’t the only thing that’s cold in here, it seems.
“I didn’t want you to be on your own,” I whisper, making her humph to herself. The sound of her sheets shifts as I picture her pulling them over her head.
“How was mom, everything alright?” I ask, genuinely wondering if she met up with dad.
“Your dad’s car broke down so your mom caught a cab out to pick him up,” Suze muffled groan replies, feigning sleepiness.
Sounds like my dad alright. I’m surprised he even called to let her know he wasn’t coming.
Maybe he has changed?
There are a ton of things I could say, but I don’t get the feeling Suze is in any humor to be sensible at the moment.
She’s had as big a day as I have but in reverse. Watching her best friend come back after years, only to be taken away by someone she dared me to kiss.
I shift in my tiny bunk, trying to get comfortable knowing that I won’t sleep a wink.
Eventually, I’m flat on my back, having tossed off the stupidly itchy sheets and blanket, listening to Suzanna snoring after what must be an hour or more but feels like a lifetime.
The steady rocking of the train is kind of soothing, but even if I wasn’t craving Michael right now there’s no way I could sleep.
I’d forgotten how much of a buzz saw Suzanna is when she sleeps.
Pulling the tiny pillow over my head I try again to block it out, shouting at myself in my head to go to sleep, but it’s no use.
I need Michael.
I don’t just want him. Don’t just crave him wanting me and doing way more than just eating me out.
I want all of him, and I want to give him all of me.
Like he said, I’m his now.
Neither of us has a choice. There is no choice where we aren’t together from now on.
I’m not sure how much longer I can endure this. It’s like an itch, something suffocating me at the same time.
It might be another hour, it might only be another minute. But after struggling to free myself from the sheets, the bunk, and finally the sleeper car, I’m stumbling in the semi-lit train towards the only place I belong from now on.
