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I chuckled, venom seeping out in the sound. “Smoke and mirrors. That’s all you are. That’s all you’ve ever been.” Deciding to be truthful myself, I added, “I truly thought you were different. The Bellamy I got to know in this room… well, I thought you were different. I thought I got to know the real you.”
“You did,” she countered quickly. “Even though I hid my money—or lack of—from you, it doesn’t mean I lied. I tried really hard to never actually lie to you. I didn’t want you knowing the truth, just as I didn’t want anyone knowing the truth. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be poor in Darlington when you were once rich? Do you know how hard it was to keep up appearances, to hide our truth from everyone? I was in high school and could barely afford lunches, let alone a prom dress, and I know I’m not the only girl with money issues. I’m not doing a ‘poor me’—”
“It sure as fuck sounds like it,” I retorted with a raise of my glass. “Poor little rich girl.”
“I’ve gone my entire life trying to act and look like someone I’m not.” She paused for a long moment and then said, “But with you, while we were here, I got to be me. I got to release the prissy beauty queen and just… live. I knew it would all come crashing down. I knew this little safe bubble we’ve been in would pop soon enough. But I have to be honest, Emmett. I’ve liked being here. I’ve liked the Trials… or most of them. I like the confinement in this room and being forced to spend every second with you.”
Her face turned a shade of pink as she added, “And I really liked being submissive to you. I liked how you took control and how easy it was for me to give it to you. For the first time in my life, I feel as if I can finally breathe.”
Walking over to the chair by the fireplace, I sat down. “Let me ask you something.” I took a sip of my whiskey and motioned for her to take a seat across from me.
She tentatively did so, and as she approached, I could see her hands were shaking. A self-destructive part of me wanted to take her into my arms to help calm her nerves. There was a protective urge inside me to care for this woman. To guarantee that all would be fine and I’d fix all her problems.
But I wasn’t a damn fool. Not anymore.
“How did you know I’d choose you?” I asked.
“Because.” She swallowed hard. “I knew you had a crush on me in high school. I’ve also seen you watching me at other social engagements the past couple of years. I knew… or at least I hoped….”
“So if you knew it would be so easy to wrap me around your finger, why not just work your Darlington magic with your mother and get me to marry you like all the other gold-diggers do?”
“Because it’s you, Emmett. You wouldn’t agree to that. You were never going to marry any woman in Darlington, and you know it.”
“And why is that?” I asked, my voice rising a little higher than intended.
“What do you mean?” Bellamy’s eyes locked with mine.
“Why wouldn’t I marry anyone in Darlington?”
I saw the realization enter her eyes as she licked her lips and nodded. She took a deep breath. “Because you’ve always felt used for your money. That no one genuinely would love you if it weren’t for your money. That—”
“Exactly!” I shouted, slamming my empty glass down on the end table and standing. “I would never marry a money-hungry whore unless forced. You knew this. You knew this and used this against me.”
She flinched when I used the word “whore,” and though I hated losing my control and composure, calling her something I didn’t mean, I couldn’t help it. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to make her feel the pain I was feeling. I wanted her to feel dirty and used like I did. I wanted her… to be different.
I truly thought she was different.
“I know you’re angry,” she began, standing up to join me.
“I’m not angry,” I said. “I’m sickened. I’m sick and tired of all this.” I lifted my arms and motioned around the room. “I’ve tried so fucking hard to be respected, to be one of the Southern elites. I’ve wanted to be perfect at everything. And for what? For this? What the fuck is this?”
She didn’t say anything but took a step toward me, her wide eyes pleading for me to understand.
“And after all the shit we’ve been through for this Initiation, we will ultimately fail. We are so close to the end, and now we have to walk away as losers.”
