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“I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes.” I stand and walk toward the door, but he catches my arm and stops me.
“Wait, what? Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving, Seth. I just told you that I want kids someday, and you were so relieved that I’m not pregnant now, that I thought you were going to throw confetti and strike up the freaking band!”
“Were you hoping to be pregnant, Rem?”
“No. No, I wasn’t. I’m not ready. And I know you’re not ready. But I also could have used a little more tenderness from you today. Instead, you ran away, and you’re distant, and when I told you that I do want kids someday, you said nothing. Your silence speaks volumes.”
He’s still silent, his gorgeous eyes turbulent as he watches me. And still, there’s no emotion.
“Say something!” I push him in the chest and knock him back a step. “Say something, you big jerk! Because I’m about to give up on everything we’ve started. My van is packed. I can be gone in ten minutes.”
“I don’t want you to leave,” he finally says. “I know I’ve been an ass today, and I do not want you to go. But I’m still working out how I feel about the kids thing. I’ve spent all day talking it over with my dad and Uncle Josh.”
“You told them?”
“Fuck, yes, I did. You have Annie, and I have them, Rem. I trust them more than anyone.”
“Okay.” I nod and take a deep breath, calming myself down. “Okay, I’m sorry about that. You’re right.”
“They talked some sense into me, and I know that if you had been pregnant right now, we would have made it work. Don’t yell at me,” he says when I open my mouth. “I know that sounds douchey, but you’re not pregnant, Rem, and I’m just thinking out loud. I’m being honest.”
“Okay,” I say again.
“I thought that I would be a shitty parent because of my past. Because of what happened to me when I was a kid. And Dad and Josh put it into perspective for me. I don’t necessarily think that anymore. I just don’t want a pregnancy to be a surprise. I know that can’t always be the case, but if and when you and I decide to start a family, I want to plan a little. Hell, you’re the planner in this relationship, that should make you happy.”
For the first time, hope fills my chest.
“I’m okay with planning,” I say softly. “Later.”
“Definitely later.”
“Not too much later. I don’t want to be seventy when they graduate from high school, you know.”
His lips twitch. “I haven’t even proposed yet.”
I have to swallow hard.
“We haven’t spent the holidays together or planned anything. We’re just starting this thing between us, and I don’t want to rush, Rem. I want to take my time with you, savor every second of this time because I’m only doing this once. With you. There’s no need to rush it.”
“No.” I step forward, so relieved and so much in love that I can hardly stand it. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and lean in. “There’s no need to rush. Just, someday.”
“Someday. But I can tell you what’s going to happen today.”
He picks me up in that effortless way he does and carries me inside. I laugh. “You stink from being on a horse all day. You need a shower.”
He grins and carries me through to the bathroom. “You can take one with me.”
“Wake up.” Seth kisses my cheek and then my shoulder.
“What time is it?”
“It’s about three,” he whispers. “And I have something to show you.”
“I’ve seen it. And while it’s impressive, I’m tired, Seth. Let a girl sleep.”
He chuckles and pulls the covers back, then wraps me in my favorite throw blanket since I’m as naked as the day I was born, before lifting me from the bed.
“I can walk.” But I lay my head on his shoulder and sigh deeply as he strolls through the house.
“I like carrying you.” He kisses my cheek and opens the front door.
“Holy shit,” I whisper. There are candles lit on the railings of the porch, extra blankets on the swing, and a steaming hot pizza on a little table. “Where’d you get that pizza?”
“I can’t divulge my secrets,” he says as he sets me down and then cuddles up next to me. “The best part is over in the distance.”
He passes me a slice of the pie and points to the horizon where green, blue, and purple lights fill the sky.
“Aurora borealis,” I whisper in awe as I munch on the pizza and Seth blows out the candles around us so we can see the lights better. “And it snowed?”
“First true snow of the season,” he confirms. “I knew you wouldn’t want to miss this.”
“Did you arrange for it all? Not just the pizza but the lights? The snow?”
