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She shook her head, her mouth dry and her blood running like fire. Never in her life had she felt like this; it was terrifying. Was she falling in love with him? That would be folly, but she had no idea how to stop herself.
His face seemed to be coming closer all the time. She gazed into those brilliant grey eyes, so dazed and confused she couldn’t think straight, then her stare dropped to focus on his hard, male mouth, and panic rushed through her.
Was she imagining it, simply because she hungered for it so much, or was he about to kiss her? A second later his mouth touched hers and she shuddered, eyes closing.
His kiss was light and cool for a second or two, then it took fire and his arms went round her, pulling her up from her chair, dragging her so close to him that she felt the pressure of his thighs, the warmth of his body under his elegant clothes, the fierce beating of his heart.
Pippa had never been kissed, touched, like that before. She didn’t know what to do, how to feel. Eyes shut tight, plunged into deep, velvety blackness, she swayed helplessly in his arms, her lips parting to give him access to her mouth, entirely given up to him in unconscious surrender.
Only when he lifted his mouth and broke the spell holding her did she begin to think again, and then shame and shock made her turn first red, then white.
‘No, you mustn’t! You’re married!’ she broke out.
He looked down at her, his face a battleground of conflicting feelings, gave a long groan. ‘Yes. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you. I didn’t intend to kiss you. I just couldn’t help it.’ He ran a caressing hand down her face, trailed his fingers over her mouth, awakening all her pulses again.
‘Don’t,’ she whispered, dying to have him kiss her again.
‘God, if only you weren’t so young!’ he muttered. ‘Practically a child. I have no right to come anywhere near you; don’t think I’m not ashamed of myself. I just don’t seem able to stop thinking about you. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a very long time.’
‘Randal,’ she moaned, shuddering. ‘But we can’t…shouldn’t… You’re married.’ A pang of jealousy wrenched her. ‘And your wife is beautiful.’
His face hardened, darkened. ‘Oh, yes, she’s beautiful. But our marriage is a sham. We rarely even see each other. She has been having an affair for a year; she’s often away—why do you think I asked you to buy the present for Johnny? My wife isn’t at home; she has probably forgotten his birthday.’
Startled and distressed, Pippa said, ‘Oh…I’m sorry. Really, very sorry. That’s very sad. I thought you were happily married; everyone said so.’ Then she bit her lip, frowning, as a new idea came to her. ‘But I don’t want you to use me to get your own back on your wife, or to boost your ego. I’m not a consolation prize, Mr Harding.’
His mouth twisted bitterly. ‘I wasn’t using you that way, Pippa. Believe me. I kissed you because the temptation was irresistible, that’s all. The minute I saw you I wanted to kiss you. It has nothing to do with my wife. I fell out of love with her long ago. Our marriage is over in everything but name. Her current affair is about the third. They never last long, but while they last they’re all she cares about. I haven’t divorced her yet because of Johnny. I don’t care a damn if I never see her again, but I love my son and I don’t want him made unhappy.’
‘No, poor little boy. He must miss his mother when she’s away,’ Pippa said, sighing. ‘My childhood was pretty grim. I’d have given anything to have a family, even just one parent, anyone who cared about me. I’m sure Johnny loves you very much. He needs you.’
‘I’m the only parent he has, most of the time. He’s used to his mother vanishing for weeks on end.’
‘But she does come back, surely?’ Pippa took a deep breath, ‘And it won’t help if you start having affairs too.’
Randal Harding gave her a wry smile. ‘You’re older than you look, aren’t you? Wiser, too. Of course you’re right. I don’t want to do anything that might hurt my boy.’ He smoothed back a tousled strand of hair from her face, his fingers caressing. ‘Or you, Pippa, I don’t want to hurt you, either. But I think I’m falling in love with you.’
He knew she was in love with him, and felt a quiver of warning.
‘You’re so sweet and gentle,’ he whispered. ‘I can’t help wanting you.’ He leant his head to kiss her again, but she drew back sharply, shaking her head.
‘No! You mustn’t,’ she hoarsely said, and he looked at her with a new possessiveness.
‘You want me, too, don’t you, Pippa?’
There was a passionate curve to his mouth that made her afraid—afraid she wouldn’t be able to go on rejecting him for long. She wanted him too much. The beat of desire in her blood warned her that sooner or later, if he kept kissing her, she would give in to him. She couldn’t bear the idea of becoming his secret mistress; it would make her so ashamed.
She gave her notice to Miss Dalton the following Friday. It was accepted with a triumphant smile. Miss Dalton thought she had won. Her hostile tactics had scored a victory. Pippa allowed her to think whatever she chose. She didn’t care. All that mattered now was to get away from Randal before it was too late.
He had left the day before, to spend a week at a business conference in the States. By the time he returned Pippa had left the firm. She had left the area, too—given up her room, moved into central London, got a job in the insurance company for which she now worked, and had found another one-room flat in Islington, where she’d stayed until she had saved enough to buy her own home in Whitstall with the company’s help. She hadn’t kept in touch with anyone at Randal’s firm; she didn’t want him to know where she had gone, so she had had no news of him.
Until now…
Four years had made few changes in him, although his face seemed harder, more sardonic. That brooding look she remembered seemed darker, more stormy. Was his wife still having affairs? Maybe Randal had had some too, now. He couldn’t have been without a woman for four years.
She felt much older, much more in control of herself as she told him, ‘You’re married and I’m getting married next week!’
‘I’m not married any more,’ he said, and her stomach seemed to drop out of her in shock.
CHAPTER THREE
