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Except...the episode in bed last night came back to her. Winston’s sexual...inability. She’d lain awake, fighting tears, completely shocked, the night before. Until she’d thought of how it must be affecting him, instead of her. For some reason an old episode of Friends came to her... A character who’d been highly sexed had been unable to get it up for his soon-to-be-wife. He’d been hugely out of whack, fearing there was something grossly wrong with him. There hadn’t been. He’d been as randy as ever soon after.
The show was a farce—and maybe the episode popping into her brain a sign that she’d spent too much time streaming old sitcoms over the past two years—but the effect on a man of being unable to perform...that was very real.
She hadn’t mentioned the episode to Chaplain Blaine. But figured that it would be dealt with in counseling at some point, if necessary.
Wanting to ask him about going to someone together, she took a look at his nondescript expression, the hands in his pockets, and figured another time would be better.
Time. It was all about time. And timing.
Like the fact that she’d been inseminated seemingly at the same time that Winston was crawling his way out of the desert.
There were no mistakes.
And him standing there...when bedtime loomed...
The man was hot. He’d tripped her trigger from the moment she’d had a trigger to trip. But...
“I’d like to ask one thing of you, if I may.”
He cocked his head, watching her. She took that as his agreement to consider her request.
“Sex is completely your call. When, or if, it happens between us again is totally up to you.” His jutted chin could have been him biting his tongue, so to speak. Or acknowledging appreciation. She’d figure out how to read this new Winston, she just needed a little time.
Time again. At least they had it now. A month ago...
“But I’d like to request that we at least sleep in the same room. In the same bed, unless there’s some reason you need to sleep on the floor. Or...something.”
She’d heard of that. Being a military wife brought exposure to some horror stories.
“I don’t think...”
“Please, Winston.” She cut him off. “We’ve said we’re going to give this time. But if you’re going to act as though we’re already apart, then you aren’t really giving us any time at all. You’re just humoring ‘us.’ In which case, you might as well just pack up and leave.”
Oh God. She wanted the words back. Instantly.
If he walked out on her... Just... Shit.
She’d said she wouldn’t push, and now she just had. But as she waited for his response, she had to admit to herself that she stood by what she said. If he wasn’t open to possibility, him being there was a farce. Didn’t mean he couldn’t come back, when he’d had time to get himself together, but it meant there was no point in him being there then.
“I’ll sleep in the bed.” As he issued the statement he turned and headed down the hall to their room. He didn’t say “our room.” Or “our bed.” She caught the gentle distinction in his word choice. Knew him well enough to know that he’d chosen it deliberately. He’d definitely changed some. But deep down, Winston was there. She was seeing signs of him even now.
Recognizing things. Like she’d just known about his choice of words being deliberate. But she caught a significance he might not have. If he was really and truly already out the door, he’d have said, “your room.” Or “your bed.”
With a grin on her face, she went in behind him to get ready for bed. Hopefully he’d have the TV on. Give them a chance to lie there and unwind without the need for interaction.
If he didn’t, she wouldn’t push again.
But it would be a damned long night.
She was going to bed wide-awake.
* * *
He’d forgotten just how sharp Emily was. Not that he’d thought her slow, at all. He knew she was intelligent. But he’d forgotten about her acute ability to hear what wasn’t being said.
That was a major fail on his part. The kind of mistake that could blow an entire plan. Make the difference between failure and success.
Over the next few days he coexisted with her, leaving for the base first thing in the morning and returning in time to help with dinner in the evening. He had no real need to be at the base that long. When someone wanted to interview him, he could be busy for an hour or two. Otherwise he worked out. Watched training videos and actual exercises. He went to the library and read everything there was to know about naval police life.
