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And still, she was glad she’d said them. The night before, when she’d seen him sleeping there, perched awkwardly on the end of the couch, her entire being had swelled with compassion. With a strong compulsion to take care of him. To get him comfortable so he’d be rested in the morning.
She needed to get to work. To get out of herself and focus completely on others. People she could help from afar, whose parameters in terms of need of her were clearly identified.
“I’ll see you at noon, then,” Greg was saying, and she smiled at him as she gave him her “okay.”
Her heart got jumbled some more when he smiled back.
* * *
Greg was just coming out of a patient cubicle, pulling off his gloves, when he saw Elaina enter the ER a couple of days later.
The emergency surgery he’d just done—making a small but critical cut into the eyelid of a teenager to relieve pressure off the optic nerve so he wouldn’t lose his sight due to swelling—had gone well. The football player’s words of thanks were still ringing in his ears, which could have something to do with the surge of good mood that filled him at the sight of the mother of his child walking toward him.
The intense look on her face—not bad, not good, just...fervent—had him pulling her into an empty cubicle at the end of the row, pulling closed the curtain at the front of the three-walled exam space.
“What’s up?”
“It’s a girl!” Her mouth remained...impassive but the glow in her eyes matched the jubilant tone in her voice.
She grabbed his hand, pulling it to the slight mound of belly covered by her white doctor’s coat. Keeping her hand on top of his on her stomach, she said, “Daddy, meet Marisol...”
Daddy.
Marisol.
It hit him like the downward slope of the very tallest roller coaster. All at once. No stopping it. Exhilarating. And his stomach flew upward into his chest—it was frightening, too.
“I’m going to have a daughter.” Who’d have thought? Who’d ever have thought?
A little girl was going to climb up into his lap, put her tiny arms around him and know that he’d protect her.
Or, or...ask him to read to her.
And put sticky lips against his cheek.
The wet drip of a tear
on his hand had him glancing quickly up at Elaina. “I’m so glad I can give this to you,” she said, so serious. “I don’t know why it’s me, or now, or you, but I’m glad, Greg. I’ll be a good mother to her...”
“You’re going to be a great mother,” he said softly, keeping his hand with hers over their baby, while with his free hand he gently cupped Elaina’s head beneath her swaying ponytail. “And I’m glad it’s you,” he told her. “If I could choose all the women I’ve known in my life, you’d still be it.”
Her eyes glistened and she gave him a wobbly smile. “Marisol,” she half chuckled. “Oh my God, I can’t wait to see her...”
And she was scared. He saw the fear in her gaze.
Just as he knew that whether Elaina ever overcame her fears enough to let herself fully engage, or not, whether they were close friends, lovers, roommates or just co-parents, he’d be right beside her, raising their child.
And the rest...whether or not they’d be partners in life or in bed...time would either bring that to him, or it wouldn’t.
No amount of jumping in, pushing or action on his part was going to make a damned bit of difference.
He’d finally figured out life’s little secret.
There were some things you just couldn’t make happen.
You did all you could do, and then just had to trust.
* * *
