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She longed for a deeper connection, more than these tantalizing kisses. Sex. Affection. Love.
He’d demonstrated such warm affection for her and she could probably persuade him to have sex with her, though she knew it wouldn’t feel complete without love. Maybe that made her old-fashioned, but she had endured enough disappointment. She eased away, resting her head on his shoulder and her hand over his thudding heart.
He gave her a squeeze. “Let’s watch the stars,” he said.
She peeked through the window, confirming that Silas was still asleep, then she and Jarvis stretched out side by side in the pickup bed.
As stars shot through the dark velvet sky, Mia’s thoughts meandered through the past and present. Her husband hadn’t loved her enough to adjust and adapt when she got pregnant. And here she was with Jarvis, who demonstrated wonderful care for her and Silas, yet claimed he wasn’t cut out for family life.
She watched another star fall and made another wish, this time for one more season of the type of happiness she’d known before her mother had died.
“Did you make a wish?” he asked.
“I can’t seem to stop,” she admitted. “You?”
“Not really. I stopped making wishes when I was a kid.”
“After your parents died?” She shifted to her side so she could see him as well as another section of the starry sky over his shoulder.
“I think it was later,” he said, his wistful tone breaking her heart. “Our aunt coul
dn’t seem to give us anything beyond the basics of food, shelter and clothing.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, Jarvis.”
“Life can play dirty,” he said. “Then and now, I think we were all grateful to stay together. That singular factor saved us more than anything else.”
They were quiet then, content to rest with only the sounds of Silas’s soft snores and the occasional hoot of an owl.
“It’s peaceful out here,” she said softly, not wanting to shatter the spell. “It makes me feel small and gives me hope at the same time.”
“Hope to go home?”
“Well, yes. You know I want my life back.” They watched another streak of starlight. “I also hope to find someone to love and build a family with. I’ve always craved that special bond my mom and dad shared. They were so in love.”
“Love?” He shifted to stare at her, incredulous. “You still believe in love after everything you’ve been though?”
“Yes. Every time I look at Silas,” she said with confidence.
“Oh, sure. That’s different.”
Was he almost agreeing with her? Hope flared that he might defeat the grip of his past. “How can love be different from love?”
He immediately pulled back, from her or the conversation, far enough that the cool air moved between them. It was mere inches, but it felt like a canyon holding them apart while she waited for his answer.
“You know what I mean.”
She was so tempted to comfort him, to gloss it over. If she did, the opportunity might never come around again. Boldly, she said, “I’d like to.”
He sighed, surprising her by pulling her close. “Aside from my brother and sister, love has let me down every time,” he admitted. “Mom and Dad loved us and it didn’t save them.”
“Everyone dies.” She watched another star fall. “Not loving someone won’t keep you safe, either.”
“I don’t understand you. You elevate optimism to an art form.”
“How can I not?” Snuggling into his warmth, she searched for the right words. “I’ve seen true love firsthand. So have you. Granted, I settled for an illusion of the real thing. Roderick loved the image of us. He didn’t love me. Love is adaptable. Steadfast and devoted, in any facet or form, love sticks.”
He shifted again but didn’t release her. Maybe she was getting through. If she could do nothing else for him, she’d give him a chance to heal from his devastating losses. “Whatever you call it, loyalty or responsibility or commitment, you show love, Jarvis. It might not be the romantic facet of love, but love is there, in your choices and your actions.”
