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It was hard to understand and it made her think of her own father. Allegra had believed Ace had feelings for her, yet he’d left her at the end of their summer fling. Was that the inconstancy of youth? A character flaw? Or just the strange vagaries of how life went sometimes.
Why was it all so hard to understand?
Holding back the mental sigh, she gave Nikolas her full attention. “I’m sorry. But thank you for trusting me with this.”
“I just—” Nikolas stopped, those curls flopping against his fingers once more as he ran a hand through his hair. “I thought you should know that. Slater men are a bad bet. Hell, a lot of men are a bad bet. But that doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to happiness and a future.”
Nova wasn’t sure how, but their conversation had seemingly leapfrogged from life-changing events to family pain to an underlying warning to steer clear of a relationship with him.
That warning lodged somewhere underneath her breastbone, but Nova ignored the feeling, vowing to think about it later. They barely knew each other, so she had no reason to be upset.
No reason at all.
Of course, her conscience whispered, there wasn’t any reason for him to say it, either.
Was it because of their kiss in the elevator? The one he’d initiated? Maybe he was really warning himself and Nova was simply caught in the crossfire.
Whatever the reason, Nova heard the warning loud and clear. She stood at that, her focus just above the top of his head. “I’m going to go lie down for a bit and then get ready to go over to the Triple R.”
* * *
Nikolas spent the better part of an hour continuing his online searches as well as digging through a few databases he had access to via his investigator’s license. Nothing had provided much beyond what he already knew, but he was grateful for the distraction.
What was wrong with him?
If he’d been looking for a calm, cool, collected way to tell Nova that they couldn’t kiss again, he sure as hell hadn’t landed on one. Instead, he’d ham-fisted his way through his family sob story and then warned her off like she was some sort of girl, fawning over him.
He wasn’t a repeat of a youthful Ace Colton, caught up in a summer romance. And for all her seeming innocence, Nova wasn’t her mother, locked in the wonder of a first romance at seventeen.
He’d been the one to kiss her, after all. It was hardly fair to suddenly assume she felt some wild, crazy attraction.
Only something had begun to shift in him as they’d sat there. He’d listened to her talk of her life changes and the baby’s impending arrival, and in that moment, he’d seen himself doing that all with her.
Being there.
When she finally met her father. When she went into labor. And most of all, when she sat there in the hospital, propped up against the pillows, holding her child serenely in her arms.
He’d seen it all, and seen himself clearly in the scene with her.
And that scared him beyond all rational thought.
He didn’t know this woman. As early as today, he’d wondered if she was playing him like a fiddle. And now?
Now he was fantasizing about her baby and spending time with them once the little one arrived?
He was Guy Slater’s son, after all. He didn’t do long-term relationships or permanence or, heaven forbid, real, true love. He did short-term and easy. He’d seen how his father’s behavior had ravaged his mother and he wasn’t interested in repeating that mess. Because of it, Nikolas had always been careful. He didn’t get into relationships he couldn’t easily get out of, and he’d become a champ at selecting women who expected a fun, casual date, not someone permanent.
So why now?
And why Nova Ellis?
She was the exact opposite of the sort of women he usually dated. The pregnancy aside, everything about that petite frame and long braid that fell down over one shoulder and those vivid green eyes spoke of permanence. Forever.
And when he talked to her, he could see it, too. This wasn’t a woman content with the casual. She might be young, but his mother would have called her an old soul. A person who saw the world around her for what it really was, even as she continued to find the good in it.
His mother would have liked Nova. He could envision his mother sitting at the table with them, talking of deeper things beyond the weather or the latest gossip around town. And in the same vision, he saw Nova holding her own, talking of the things in life that truly mattered.
He saw it, damn it.
