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She wanted to. Truly wanted what was best for him.
But she couldn’t quite get a picture of her life without him.
“Johnny?”
“I’ve been struggling...with something for a while now.”
She sipped some more wine. She held her glass, waiting, counting the beats of her heart pounding against her chest. Telling herself she wouldn’t cry in front of him. That wouldn’t be fair. She had another swallow of wine—welcoming the idea of a little alcohol taking the edge off, easing the pain she carried around inside her. She’d get through. She always did. What choice did she have?
Hard lessons learned from her mother’s sudden death...and then Jackson’s disappearance. There’d been nobody to pick up the pieces but her.
“I just...” He moved a little closer. She would’ve scooted over, but had nowhere to go. And then, because there was nothing she could do about it anyway, she was just plain glad of his closeness. He took her free hand. Ran his fingers along the back of it.
His touch jostled the wine in Tabitha’s glass. Warmth spread through her body. He was...her Johnny.
How could she bear to lose him? Not have him to call? To watch over her? To be there when she needed him even when she didn’t know she needed him?
“I’ve come down with...a distressing...”
Her heart lurched with alarm as her medical training kicked in. He was ill?
“Situation,” he finished.
Relieved that he wasn’t sick—and back to dreading that he was going to tell her he was ready to terminate the partnership, Tabitha took another drink of wine, embarrassing herself with a gulp rather than a sip.
Distressing situation could only mean it was going to be bad.
When Johnny suddenly dropped her hand to slide over and grab a throw pillow, then rest his arm on it on his lap, she was completely bereft. Felt as though he was already leaving her.
He was obviously struggling to tell her. She should help him. Make it easier on him. But she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to speak without tears at the moment.
Really, they’d done an incredible thing forming the partnership. They’d started and were running a successful food truck business. And they’d located and put in motion the means to bring Jackson home.
How could anything else matter as much as either of those achievements?
Things could still go wrong with Jackson. There was a slight chance Jason wasn’t him. Maybe she could ask Johnny to hang on just long enough for that confirmation...
Hope was born and then quickly faded as she realized how selfish that would be.
“I’ve been afflicted with this...apparently uncontrollable desire for your body.”
She heard the words. Replayed them. Stared at Johnny the whole time, trembling. Adrenaline rushed through her body.
Was he asking...suggesting...
“Believe me, I’ve tried everything I know to distract myself. I think I’m doing well and then you lean out the window of the truck and there I am again, hard as a rock.”
As soon as he said the words, her gaze went to the pillow he held. He’d grabbed it after having been close to her, touching her hand. Was it because...? Oh, my.
She felt delicious. Completely outside herself.
“Like now?” the wine made her ask.
Chapter Thirteen
Johnny tossed the pillow aside. There was a certain amount of embarrassment, sitting there with her looking at his extended fly. But his intense attraction had become a problem, and he wasn’t going to let it interfere with the great work they were doing. With the partnership.
“How long has this been going on?” Tabitha still wasn’t looking at him. Or, rather, was not looking him in the eye.
