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And somehow Tamara Frost was connected to it all.
* * *
Tamara was gone when he finally made it back out to the great room. He’d known she would be. Putting Diamond in her Pack ’n Play, he flipped off the television still paused on a close-up of Michael Douglas with his mouth open, caught in midword. Then he gathered up the glasses of leftover iced tea, the half-eaten bag of popcorn and took them to the kitchen. Upon his return, he grabbed his laptop.
Settling back on the sofa, wanting to stay close to the baby, he did a search on medical degrees. They took an average of eight years to earn and then an average of four years of residency before a graduate could begin practice. A list of medical schools came next. He wanted the best. Decided on three and searched tuitions. Then he researched the average cost of living for a medical resident, did a calculation based on average cost of living increase each year, multiplying that by twenty-six, because, based on schooling, she’d be at least that before beginning a residency, and added the figure to his list.
His eventual total was about what he’d estimated when he’d
been rocking his baby sister. But it was good to have solid facts.
He knew how much extra money he had to earn to fund Diamond’s college account. She could be whatever she wanted. He was prepared for the most expensive, which was why he’d looked into medical schools. He checked the market next—something he did all day every day, using his cell phone when he didn’t have access to his computer. Searching now for his own personal investments. There was always more money to be made.
And finding it was his talent.
He had all of half an hour before Diamond was crying again. Deciding it was about time, he tried to feed her. She drank for a couple of minutes and then turned her head. And kept turning it away whenever he tried to guide the nipple into her mouth.
So he rocked her. Laid her on her belly and rubbed her back. Walked with her out by the pool. Talked to her. Loved her.
And thought about Tamara. She’d fought her own demons that afternoon to help Diamond Rose. He couldn’t remember a time other people had put themselves out on his behalf.
Except Howard Owens. He’d risked his own reputation to take Flint on eight years before. Flint hated that the man thought he’d been planning to stab him in the back.
Hated it, but wasn’t surprised. That was the way his life worked. With his background, he was always suspect.
It was something he’d always known, even as a little kid.
And something he swore Diamond would never face.
Tamara had fought her own demons to hang around.
As he finally set Diamond down in a clean sleeper and with a full feeding of warm formula in her belly sometime after seven that evening, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He’d changed into sweats and a long sleeved T-shirt and was sitting by the pool with a bottle of beer.
Tamara picked up on the second ring.
“I just wanted to apologize for this afternoon,” he said as soon as she said hello.
“No apology necessary,” she told him. “Seriously. I think what you’re doing... Anyway, don’t apologize.”
There was no missing the wealth of emotion in her tone. He’d had a tough day with a cranky newborn, but he had a feeling Tamara’s day had been immeasurably worse.
He did need to apologize. He’d been so certain he could help her—that somehow Diamond Rose would be the baby who’d help her heal from her loss, ease her pain—and with no real knowledge of the subject, he’d invited her into a hellhole.
He should just let her go.
He’d thought about it on and off all afternoon. And as he’d eaten his single serving of reheated lasagna for dinner.
He’d argued with himself and called her anyway.
There had to be something he and Diamond Rose could do for her.
“Maybe we should stick to having lunch for now,” he offered, still at a loss.
If she even wanted to see him again. He wouldn’t blame her if she thought he was too much trouble. He’d probably think so, too, if he were in her shoes.
Except he was beginning to understand that he had no idea how it felt to be in her shoes. Having children was a natural progression in life. Something most people took for granted. To be married and ready to start a family, to know you were pregnant, to be buying things for a nursery, making plans, and then to lose that child—he had no idea how any of that would feel.
And times four.
