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e maladies such tests could indicate. He’d shared the news with Mallory.
And it had been the absolute wrong thing to do at the time. She’d taken his information to mean that she was to blame for their son’s death.
“We also know that our reproductive environments are compatible.” They’d conceived Tucker the first month they’d tried. “The sooner you conceive, once you start trying, the less stressful that portion of the process will be.”
He saw her blink and took that to mean she was hearing him.
“Further down the road, if the child were to develop an illness or sustain a severe injury, something that needed a blood transfusion or donor of any kind, you’d have both parents to pull from.”
She let go of the rail, wrapped her arms around her knees and looked out to sea. Was she going to turn him down?
“We can get everything drawn up legally,” he continued, figuring that he’d covered all of the bases in his mind since Friday night, and if he just kept talking, he’d allay any concerns she might have. “You’d be the sole parent, just like you want. I’d have no say in anything, no legal rights, no more than any anonymous donor.”
He drew from the thoughts that had consumed his weekend. “It would save you money, as well,” he said. “You wouldn’t have to pay for the sperm.”
Her glance, when it swung back his way, had his heart palpitating for a second. He wasn’t sure why.
“You’re actually suggesting that we have sex?” The sentence ended almost on a squeak. He wasn’t sure if she was offended or simply appalled and shocked.
At least she’d spoken.
“Of course not,” he quickly reassured both of them. Yeah, he’d been cursed with an apparently lifetime attraction to his ex-wife, but she cringed at the idea of sex with him, and there that possibility ended. “I’d leave my specimen at the clinic, but I’d do so as a non-paid donation specifically for you.”
She’d have to pay for the procedure, just not the sperm.
“If you go with IUI your chances of conceiving the first time would be better than with sex.”
Mallory was shaking her head.
“What?”
“Do you realize the mess we’d be making if we did this?”
Sitting on the bow of his boat, her little feet in ridiculously small-looking tennis shoes, the woman made him nuts and peaceful at the same time. Helping Mallory was the right thing to do. Tucker would have expected it of him.
Hauling her downstairs to bed was not even in the realm of possibility.
Nor did he want it to be, anymore. Sex with Mallory came with a whole knotted ball of strings attached.
“That’s the beauty of it, Mal,” he said, glancing over as his fishing line grew taut. There’d be no fish there. He hadn’t baited the damned thing.
He could just imagine being in the middle of presenting his case and having to stop to reel in a slippery, smelly, great-tasting piece of fish.
“We’re in complete control here, Mal, and we’ve got the perfect vehicle. We’ve spent three years building a friendship that would allow the peace of mind you need for this venture. It couldn’t be better if we’d planned it all along.”
“We live on the surface,” she said. “A baby won’t stay there. Nor will all of the emotions attached to having one. I’m fully prepared for that. Are you?”
She wasn’t getting it. “That’s just it! I won’t be emotionally involved. I’ll be going on with my life, as planned, while providing you the means to go as safely as possible on with yours.”
Frowning at him, her eyes only partially hidden by her sunglasses, she said, “You honestly think you can father a child without feeling anything?”
Sure, there’d be some feelings attached, at first probably, until he fully adjusted to the changes in their lives. “No more so than any other sperm donor.”
“They don’t ever know if their sperm is even used, let alone have a relationship with the recipient.”
“Some do.” He’d researched that one. “Men donate to gay women friends. Women are surrogates for gay men friends. I read about a man who donated to his best friend, who was celibate, so he and his wife could have a baby. And a mother who carried for her barren daughter and son-in-law—”
“We were married, Bray. We had a son together. Lost a child together. And you think you can father my second child and just walk away?”
