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No. What was that nonsense? His life was a damned good story. He got up every morning, eager to get going. His work didn’t just earn him loads of money; it energized him.
“I think you need time to seriously reconsider,” Mallory said, turning that warm, concerned gaze on him. How well he recalled that look. He’d almost been jealous of his own son once, when he’d been trying to talk to Mallory about a particularly testy client and a lucrative deal that had almost gone sour, and instead of hearing him, she’d heard Tucker sneeze and had immediately turned that same look on the baby.
Hard to believe he even remembered that.
“It will just be too messy.”
Whoa. She wasn’t changing her mind, was she?
“Only if we make it so,” he said, jumping in before the deal went south on him. “It will be what we make it,” he continued, looking her straight in the eye. “We’re friends. Your child will be your child, just as though you had an anonymous donor. I will be there for both of you, as a friend of the family, in the same way as I would be if you purchased the sperm.” He’d spent much of the previous day getting straight with it all. “The only difference will be the biology—a scientific component that no one will ever need to know about—that will make you and the ch
ild safer than if you did it anonymously.”
She still looked as though she needed reassurance.
“It’s not like we just divorced,” he said, putting every ounce of confidence he had into his words. “We’re three years in, Mal. We’ve got this down.”
She nodded.
“If anyone can do it, we can.”
She watched him, saying nothing.
“It’s perfect for us, really,” he said, continuing to fill the silence. “You said multiple times that I’m detached. So here’s where my detachment works for us.”
He hadn’t been detached when they’d been married. But he was now. Somehow he’d become what she’d thought she’d seen.
“I still think I should cancel my appointment to give you more time.”
“I don’t need any more time. If you do, if you want to think about this some more, then by all means, postpone things. But you don’t need to do it on my account.”
Her response was quick. “I’m not worried about me. My mind is fully made up.”
“I meant about using me as a donor. If that’s going to be a problem for you.”
“I think it’s fraught with potentially difficult situations, most I fear that we can’t even see right now, but, honestly, I’d take on any of them to have the peace of mind of knowing that if something happened to me, my child would have biological family willing to welcome him.”
“But he would only know about that biology if such an occasion arose.” They needed that clear. They were proceeding as if this was an anonymous sperm donor. For her sake, more than anything. It was what she needed.
“Correct.” She nodded but then glanced out to sea.
“Maybe you do need to take a little time,” he told her, not wanting to rush her. Mallory had never been one to jump into anything. Because she gave her all when she got there.
She looked at him. “I told you, my mind is firmly made up.”
He nodded, believing her.
“So, do you need me tomorrow, then?” He’d never been to a fertility clinic, but he’d heard his share of do-it-in-the-cup jokes. Seen sitcom episodes on TV. It wasn’t his style, but what the hell.
“I thought I’d call in the morning and see what they suggest. With the change of plan, they might want to reschedule.”
He met her gaze and held it. “So, I’m good. Are you?”
Her smile rocked him more than the incoming wake. “I’m good.”
He wanted to believe both of them.
* * *
