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She should have asked. The real Mallory would have asked. Friend-instead-of-lover Mallory couldn’t.
Cleaning up tuna from the wall, she told herself that she didn’t care where Braden lived as long as he was healthy and happy. Needing to keep herself that way, she ate. Then she worked on spring-into-summer decorations for the daycare reception. She liked to change them every month, to keep things feeling fresh and happy. Crafting of all sorts made her happy.
Twice she went in to the bathroom, thinking she might take the pregnancy test a day early. It wouldn’t hurt anything. Worst case, she’d be out the money it would cost to buy more. Considering that she’d purchased a case of them off the internet because she could get them so much cheaper, she wasn’t all that worried about buying more.
Twice she went back to the third-bedroom-turned-craft-room in her house without taking the test. Chances were it would come up negative, which would only upset her. Still, it could just mean that it was too early to take the test, not that she wasn’t pregnant.
If it came up positive she’d get all excited and might then find out she wasn’t pregnant because it had been too early to take the test.
Logic told her twelve hours shouldn’t make that much difference.
Braden had left town without even wishing her luck for the outcome of a test he knew she’d be counting the hours to take.
That hurt.
There. She’d admitted it.
He didn’t have to be personally invested or anything. He didn’t need to care for himself whether or not the insemination of his sperm into her body had created a new life. But she’d hoped he’d care for her sake, no matter whose sperm she’d used.
He wouldn’t be back until after she’d had a day to deal with the results. Either way, she was bound to be a bit emotional over them. Elation, disappointment...either reaction would most likely be intense at first.
And Braden had purposely taken himself away.
So typical. And why had she expected any different? Of course he’d be there in a heartbeat if she called. But his choice was to be absent.
Her intensity made him uncomfortable.
She cut and glued—burning herself on the glue gun—embellished, trimmed, embossed, traced, drew faces, even did a bit of calligraphy with big thick strokes. Pulling supplies from various white plastic drawers stacked all along one wall of the room, she had her eight-foot worktable filled with papers, cardboards and pencils in various colors, an electronic cutter, paints, hole punches in several shapes, plastic pieces for 3-D effects, and yet she still saw Braden everywhere she looked.
How could he be so present in her mind, even after three years of divorce?
It wasn’t until she was lying awake in the middle of the night that it hit her. He’d left her his key. Something he’d never done before—and he’d certainly been out of town for longer than two days on numerous occasions.
He’d left her his key.
Giving her access to him when he couldn’t be there.
It hit her like a warm breeze on a cool day.
He was staying connected to her in his own way. And that was good enough.
Or at least good enough for her to settle into sleep. If, deep down, she needed more, wanted more, she’d let that go.
It was a learning process.
One minute, one step, one day at a time.
* * *
Braden checked on his offer first thing Thursday morning. The owner had phoned in a positive response, but it wasn’t yet officially accepted. He made arrangements with the hotel to secure a suite for a monthly rate, good for however long he needed it, and got himself settled in. It would be fine for now. He was going to be ungodly busy, not only with contractors and building details but with filling twelve floors’ worth of office suites.
That’s when it hit him that he should have a daycare on the first floor. Being able to offer on-site childcare at a reduced rate was a great selling point. One that Mallory had come to him with. He’d trusted her judgment and she’d been right.
So, morally, he owed her the opportunity to open a second business if she wanted it. Practically, he didn’t see it. The Bouncing Ball in San Diego took up all of her t
ime as it was. And with a new baby, she’d have even less time. He couldn’t support her taking on any more. She’d be stretched too thin, get stressed and lose sleep and not be happy.
Mallory was Supermom. She’d only be happy if she had ample time to spend with her new baby.
