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“I did look,” he said softly. “All night long….”
“Well…”
“Meredith.” He put his hand over her mouth. “Let me get a word in edgewise, will you?”
She blinked. Nodded. She’d already told him she talked too much.
“You celebrated when Susan finally realized she was only half-alive and decided to date what’s-his-name the pilot.”
She started to say the name, but at a glance from Mark decided that wouldn’t be necessary.
“You were glad that she was taking risks, because only by doing so would she find real happiness.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you ever stop to see that I was only half-alive, too?” His gaze was so compelling, her stomach was turning inside out with wanting him—loving him. “I let Barbie’s defection stop me in my tracks, and I don’t want to live the rest of my life that way. I want real happiness.”
“But…”
“I’m not done yet,” he said gently. “Just as you celebrated Susan’s risk-taking, I celebrate your intensity.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. She couldn’t believe he’d just said that.
“It’s not always going to be easy or calm. Nothing is guaranteed. There will be conflict, but I saw real life the other night—I saw feeling so deep that a life was saved. I felt things I’d never felt before. I don’t want to go back to being half-alive.”
She didn’t know what to say.
“Now’s the time, Meredith,” he said. “All your life you’ve been looking inside other people, feeling what they feel, understanding. It’s time to look inside yourself.”
Held by his gaze, she nodded.
“What do you feel?” His words were soft, yet powerful enough to rip through her.
“I love you.”
Eyes closed, he let out a deep breath. She waited for his arms to grab her up, take her to bed. Instead, his eyes opened again and he said, “What else?”
She started to tell him nothing. Slowed down enough to verify the truth of her answer. And began to shake.
“Fear.” The word was difficult.
“Of what?”
“You. Kelsey. Me. What if I’m too much? What if you can’t handle me? What if I embarrass her? What if…”
“I love you, Meredith Foster,” Mark said. “More intensely than I ever thought possible.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. Right there in front of him. And still he didn’t stop.
“You talked earlier about trust in the deepest sense. You talked about Truman and how he completely trusted what his heart was telling him. I want to know what your heart is telling you.”
She tried to speak. Opened her mouth to speak.
“And…” Mark added, his gaze completely serious. “I want to know if you trust yourself enough, trust me enough, to share that heart with me.”
With his last words, peace fell over Meredith, a sense of tranquility so deep she couldn’t fight it. And she knew.
“I do.”
