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“…so when Pastor Marks came up with the compromise…”
What? She hadn’t heard a word her mom had been saying.
“What compromise?” she asked.
And withstood Martha’s concerned stare. “I wouldn’t let Sheriff Richards say anything to the town that was going to touch you in any way.” She reached over and grabbed Ellen’s free hand as she repeated what had obviously already been said…
Mom’s hand was warm. A good thing. Ellen didn’t feel quite so sick. Though she was still consumed by the fear that had wrapped itself around her throat when the man had kicked the boardinghouse door shut behind them that night. The fear had never let go.
“But people have a right to know,” Mom continued. “A need to know.”
Ellen listened, withholding judgment. Judgment was too much work.
“Until this man is caught—”
“I know,” Ellen said when her mother broke off abruptly. “He could attack again. Me or someone else.”
/> She was proud of how calmly she’d said that. No one had to know that every time she thought about it, she felt like she was suffocating.
“The sheriff also hopes that someone saw something, noticed the car leaving, or will recognize the composite of the man. Anything that might help him catch the guy.”
“Okay.”
“You sure?”
“Um-hmm.”
“I love you, honey.”
Ellen stared straight ahead. “I love you, too, Mom.”
They drove in silence for a couple of minutes, but Ellen could tell by the way her mother kept peeking over at her that she had something more to say. Ellen longed for her bed. Covers she could crawl all the way under.
Her whole body hurt with the effort it took to sit there, pretending she was okay.
“Maybe you should call Aaron tonight.”
“No.” Never. Ever. As long as she lived.
“Why, sweetie? He loves you.”
“No.”
“Are you afraid? You think because Aaron’s a man he might remind you of what happened?”
For a second there Ellen almost smiled. Sometimes her intelligent mom was so far off base. Ellen had always kind of liked that about her.
But “no” was all she said.
“I know your counselor’s already talked to you about this, but I want to make sure you believe that sex can be wonderful, sweetie. Not now, I understand that, but someday…”
Ellen had to shut her up. “I know, Mom. Aaron and I have been lovers since January.”
“Oh.”
Not quite the way she’d wanted to break that news. If she’d ever chosen to break it at all. Mom had always talked openly with her and her sisters about their bodies and sex, but there were some things a girl just cherished all alone.
“Well, then…he was good to you?”
