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So much that she could go to dinner with him as they’d planned and know that this was the only meal they’d ever share.
“Obviously you care or you wouldn’t have spent two years with her. But do you love her?”
She was watching him. Waiting for an answer to a question she had no right to ask.
“I don’t really have anything to compare it to,” he finally said. “But if I had to swear on the good book, I’d probably say no. I’m not pining away for her and it seems like I should be if I were in love with her. If there is such a thing.”
“You don’t believe in love?”
“Not in society’s prettied-up version of it. Television, romance novels, even the classics would have you believe that there’s some magical feeling that’s going to descend upon you and sweep you away to a place where the feeling will never fade and it will sustain you through all things and at all times.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s a fairy tale. And before you ask, I don’t believe Cinderella is a true story or that there’s a Santa Claus, either.”
“What do you believe in?”
“Loyalty. When you commit to someone, you follow through on that commitment.”
“Like you do with Nonnie.”
“Like my grandmother has always done for me.” His tone was sharper than usual.
Uncrossing his ankles, Mark straightened, handed her the glass of tea and buried his head beneath her hood.
Taking the hint, Addy told him he could leave her keys in the mailbox and carried her tray back inside.
* * *
MARK CHANGED THE OIL on both vehicles, cleaned up, got ready for work and, after kissing Nonnie on the cheek while she napped, slipped out of the house half an hour early.
The smart thing would have been to head straight for the truck, but he didn’t even make it down the steps. He knocked on Addy’s front door and handed her back her keys.
“I’m sorry,” he said as she took the key ring from him. “I’m not used to talking about myself.”
“Why would you need to? Everyone in Bierly has known you since you were born.”
She had a point.
“Nonnie told me that you had it rough. She said your mother left home when she was sixteen and came back a year later, nine months pregnant with you.”
The skin on his face tightened. Just as he’d feared, his grandmother was spilling all his secrets.
“What else did she tell you about my parents?”
“Nothing.”
“I have no idea who my father was....” The truth stuck in his throat. He’d been sired by a male so irresponsible he hadn’t bothered to wait around to see if he’d been a boy or a girl. Or even born alive.
And if Addy was going to hear about it, he wanted it to be from him. She stood hugging her door and the empathetic look in her eyes drew him right in.
“Nonnie got pregnant with my mother in high school,” he said. “Her dad had been killed on the farm and her mom didn’t have anything extra to give her. It took all they had to live and pay taxes on the farm once it was no longer being farmed. Nonnie had to quit school and start cocktailing to make ends meet.”
“Nonnie said she was a bartender.”
“Mom grew up in the bar.”
“Did you, too?”
