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I shrug. I’m not sure that I want to tell her I want someone who doesn’t make me feel as if I’m settling. It seems a bit silly to say such a thing to Maryann. “Someone like Brayden,” I finally say.
“Marriage?”
“I wouldn’t be opposed one day way down the line.”
“Kids?”
This seems like a trick question. Aren’t most people supposed to say yes? I mean, I like kids. They’re cute. But my experience so far has been to hold them for a bit and then return them. That’s all I’ve wanted to do. I don’t know if I want more responsibility than that. Surely she’s hoping for an eventual grandchild, so what am I supposed to say?
“Well?” she pushes. “Do you want kids?”
“Mom, what the fuck are you doing?”
My spine stiffens, even though I’m not the one he’s angry with.
Maryann turns toward him, but I focus on my pot. “Don’t curse at me. I’m only asking her questions about a future. I’m sure you haven’t asked.”
“No, because I haven’t thought of a future.” He still sounds angry, angry enough that I wonder if he realizes what he just said. He hasn’t thought about a future with me at all?
Maryann waves him off. “She isn’t bothered by it, are you, Deanna?”
“I don’t care if she isn’t. I am. Stop it. I came down here to tell you that we’ll have guests tomorrow, a teammates’ nanny, her five-year-old son, and his nine-month-old baby. Behave, Mom.” Brayden’s footsteps are heavy as he walks away without giving her a chance to reply.
Maryann pats my shoulder. “Give him thirty minutes and he’ll realize the mistake in what he said.”
I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that she realized what he said, or the fact that Brayden never does. Now there are two things on my mind. How Brayden doesn’t think of a future with me, which I should be okay with. I haven’t done it either. Why should I be upset that he hasn’t? Maybe because I feel like there is a future for us, whatever that may be, and Brayden’s statement almost made it sound like he thinks the opposite.
And then, I can’t stop thinking about how he suddenly dumped that girl. That’s not what Brayden told me. He said he couldn’t find the balance. Do I need to be worried about getting dumped if he decides I’m too much of a distraction?
***
Hearing my mom ask Deanna about kids makes me want to vomit. I don’t have a problem with kids. Obviously, considering Bree and Jackson will be here today, but they are not anywhere near my line of thought. They aren’t on the foreseeable timeline either. Career first. That’s my gut reaction. After a quick thought, I realize things have changed.
Whether I intended to or not, it’s now Deanna first. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have risked seeing her after the Zane incident. I would have called it off right then and there because of the potential interference. Unless there’s something major happening, more major than the possible tension between teammates, I don’t see myself picking my career over Deanna. I can be fully committed to both. I’m sure of it.
Deanna has been a bit quiet ever since. I’m not sure if my mom said something to her or if she’s worried I’ll want kids in the next few years. There hasn’t been an opportunity for me to discuss it with her yet. There won’t be one for a while based on the knock on my door. I just walked down the steps, Otis on my heels, intending to check on Mom and Deanna who are in the kitchen. I’ve been lying down for most of the morning.
Raelynn stands on the other side, Jackson standing slightly behind her, and Bree is in her carseat. “Hey. Sorry, we’re late.”
“It’s okay. Come on in. Hey, Jackson.” He waves, but his eyes are on Otis. “This is Otis.” Otis is super excited at the moment since we have three new guests. “Otis, sit,” I instruct and he does. “Want to pet him, Jackson?”
He nods. Jackson steps forward and mimics me, rubbing Otis behind his ears and telling him “Good boy.” We pet Otis for a minute or so before we head into the kitchen for introductions.
“Mom, Deanna, this is Raelynn, Jackson, and little Bree. Raelynn, you remember Deanna, and that’s my mom, Maryann.”
“Thanks for inviting us,” Raelynn adds after saying hello.
“Of course,” Mom says, even though it was my idea. “We’re about to set the table, so you guys wash up and have a seat.”
I tell Raelynn where the bathroom is and she leaves Bree with me while she and Jackson wash their hands. Bree naps for the moment. I offer to help Mom and Deanna, but they say they don’t need it. So far today, I haven’t had any symptoms, but I’ve been staying in my room, resting, just to be safe.
As everyone sits down at the table with Otis at Deanna’s feet, I chuckle as Jackson, who is sitting next to Raelynn anyway, slides his chair so that it is touching Raelynn’s.
“I’ve been meaning to thank you, Brayden,” she says once our plates are loaded with food.
“For what?”
“For telling Elias about me and basically helping me get the job.”
