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My gaze moves to my closed bedroom door. Life doesn’t want anyone to be completely happy all the time, though. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting here, worried about Julie. Things get better, things get worse. Never are all things all better at once. But I made a promise to myself to be more positive. Julie is here. I am back with the team and not playing terribly. Cal and Julie are getting along. All of that counts for something.
Cal hangs around for a while before leaving me alone. I eventually join a sleeping Julie. Even asleep, she looks unhappy. Her lips dip downward the tiniest bit. There’s a wrinkle between her brows. Her eyes seem to be squeezed so tightly closed as if there’s something in our world running after her and she’s closing her eyes before the terrible blow.
I draw her into my arms, hoping for a tomorrow where Julie doesn’t have any worries on her mind.
In the morning, I find Julie snuggled so close against me. Her nails dig into my side with enough bite to be uncomfortable. But the cutest little snore rattles up from the back of her throat and makes me smile. Something is bothering my Jules; I will be getting to the bottom of it. It’s confirmed when I lightly run my hand down her back and it startles her awake.
Her eyes don’t flash open with pleasant surprise, but straight up terror.
“Jules,” I whisper. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” That has never scared her before.
She blinks for a solid thirty seconds, as if she isn’t quite there and it takes that long for her to come to her senses. “Hi.”
“Hey.”
“I had a nightmare, I think,” she explains.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I don’t really remember it.” She hides her face in the crook of my neck.
“Want to talk about what’s been bothering you then?”
“Collin,” she whispers.
“Julie,” I whisper back.
She giggles. “I love you.”
“I love you too. I’d love you more if you’d trust me and tell me what is going on.”
Julie sighs. “I need some time. I do trust you, too.”
But she’s scared; that much is evident. I don’t know how else to soothe her fear, whatever that might be exactly. She’s closing me out, but she also isn’t budging. For now, I’ll let it go.
For now.
I grab her wrists and quickly move us so Julie lies on her back with me on top of her. There’s a subtle, immediate change when she gets horny. Her breathing shallows out for one quick second. I grin and grind my hips against hers.
“Excited, Jules?”
“About what?” she asks plainly, causing my grin to widen.
“If you don’t want me, I can go take my shower.” I pull myself away only an inch’s worth and Julie tugs me back.
“I do want you, Collin.”
That’s all I need to hear, so I lean down to kiss her.
“Nervous?” Cal asks just loud enough for me to hear him as we skate on the ice during warm ups. “Because of Julie, I mean.”
It’s game night and Julie is here watching. It took way more convincing than I thought it would to get her to come to a game, but she relented eventually.
Am I nervous?
“No,” I answer honestly. “She didn’t want to come,” I admit.
“Because of the spouses?” he questions.
