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I grin. “Isn't that what we're doing?”
“Nope. While you are very tempting, Gabe, I've decided I don't want to have sex with you.”
My hands return to lay flat on her stomach. “Oh yeah?”
“Not today anyway. You've inspired me.”
“I have?” What is she talking about?
Ryan grins. “Yep. I'm going to behave better. We'll see how long it lasts.” Ryan frowns as a thought flits her mind.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Nothing. Time to relax.”
She closes her eyes, leaning her head back on my shoulder once more. Her frown bothers me though. What is she thinking? I attempt to relax as well, even though that's still on my mind along with her body against mine. Twenty minutes pass in silence before I finally say something about it.
“Ryan?”
“Yeah?” She says without opening her eyes.
“Tell me why you frowned.”
Ryan sighs and turns her head to look at me. “I was thinking about how when I stop trying to behave, stop trying to be someone I'm not, it will count as me quitting because I would be giving up. That it will be added to my long list of failures.” Ryan sits up, moves forward, and then turns as she sits across from me in the tub. “Do you know that I've thought about changing my name? Countless times.”
“Why?” I actually like her name. Sure, I thought it was odd at first, but it grows on you.
“My parents wanted a boy. They got me, and I've heard about it every day of my life. That name, my name, is tied to me being what they never wanted. That's why it pissed me off when you said it was a boy's name. Once I started college, though, I mostly stopped thinking about it and decided to own up to it.”
Since she brought it up, I decide to ask. “Why are your parents like that? Explain it to me. Why didn't they have another kid if they wanted a boy that badly?”
Ryan shakes her head. “Believe it or not, I'm their miracle child. I'm the only one of my mother's pregnancies that didn't end in miscarriage. That's why they didn't have another kid and they stopped trying. Everything they've ever wanted in a child rests on my shoulders now. They have empty hopes for me though because they don't think I can do any of it.” Ryan cups some of the bubbles in her hands and glances at me. “You ruined my bath for me.”
I take a moment to absorb what she just said. No wonder she doesn't think she's meet-the-parents material. Her own parents have made her feel like this. It's terrible. This is why she keeps using words like disappointment and failure. It makes sense now. Although, I'm sure there is more I'm still missing. More that I want to find out, which doesn't mean that I'm going to turn into a savior.
“I'm sorry.” I move to lean towards her. “C'mere. I'll make up for it.” All I want to do is make her feel better before I leave. Ryan looks a little skeptical, so I curve a finger under her chin and lead her to me. “Close your eyes,” I softly order.
Ryan does, the corners of her mouth slightly moving up and down as she tries not to smile. For a moment, I take in her features. She's beautiful. Without waiting any longer, I gently press my lips to hers. They part, already eager for more. I slip my tongue into her mouth to play with hers. Ryan releases a quiet sigh into my mouth as her fingers grasp my face. Her sigh is like a small billow of air that makes everything tumble within me.
I kiss her with unhurried passion, as if the clock has stopped and we have all the time in the world. But the water soon cools to bring back bits of my senses, and I pull away from Ryan. The bubbles have all but disappeared to leave our naked bodies almost completely visible. She hasn't opened her eyes yet, and her lips are barely pursed. That look on her face right now is one I will never tire of. Goosebumps dot her skin, her nipples at attention. Those dark green eyes finally stare at me, a smile rising on her lips.
“Thanks,” she whispers.
“Any time.”
Her gaze glances downward at me and my hard, aching body. It's probably time for me to leave, but all I want to do is get off. I don't know what Ryan wants, though. I don't think I should sleep with her again just yet. This needs to be done right, and I need to resist the lure before I do something I regret.
“I, uh-” I stop to clear my throat. “I need to get going.” My eyes immediately snap to Ryan's moving hands underneath the water, coming towards me at a tortuously slow pace.
“Right now?” She questions.
I'm wound up too tightly for her to tease me today. Her hands land on my thighs, and I swallow hard, waiting for her to do something. My focus won't waver from her crawling hands, even when she speaks. I'm frozen by those slender fingers. She's paralyzed me.
“I would feel terrible knowing you left like this.”
The tips of her fingers ever so slightly brush along my shaft. Oh my God. She's going to kill me. Suddenly, her hands are too far away from me, and water is sloshing as she stands. Helpless to Ryan, I take my time looking as I travel along her legs, her hips, her stomach, her breasts. I look at every droplet of water on my way up until I reach her sexy grin. She holds out her hand, palm up.
“C'mon. The clock is ticking.”
