AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I feel bad that I couldn’t help you unpack, though,” she says as she comes to stand next to me at the stove. She’s close enough that I feel the heat from her body. I expected that being around her again would throw me for a loop because things aren’t the same between us as the last time I saw her. Hell, back then, she would never have been invited to my house, never have had a meal with me, and never have my cell phone number. On top of that, I care about her. I did before, of course, but now, I care.
“I didn’t want to bother you so soon into the semester starting and all. I’m glad I didn’t, since you haven’t been doing well.”
“Neither have you, and you still got to do it,” she retorts, causing me to laugh. Her lips quirk up. “I like hearing you laugh, Trace.” She intends to bump her elbow against mine, but due to our height difference, her elbow hits my hip as she adds, “I’ve missed talking to you.”
And that causes my heartbeat to falter. I told her I hadn’t been texting her because things have been busy. Which is true, but it’s not the entire truth. The move has fucked me up in ways I wasn’t expecting and it’s taken all my energy and willpower to get myself settled in and begin at my new job. Solitude seemed to be the only thing I wanted and could handle. I hoped Brittany was doing well enough that my absence wouldn’t affect her.
“You can talk to me like I talk to you, Trace.” Her quiet voice kills me and spurs me to look at her. She looks hopeful. She’s paying more attention to me than I thought she would, or else I’m not doing a good job of masking my emotions. Brittany reaches up to cup my face, the pad of her thumb brushing underneath my eye. “How long has it been since you’ve had a good night’s sleep?”
“You don’t have to worry about me,” I tell her. I don’t want to add to what she’s dealing with already.
“Yes, I do, because if I don’t, who will? I’m going to worry either way, so get used to it and answer my question.”
I sigh and she drops her hand. My eyes shift to the pots on the stove. “Over a month, but it’s not too bad. Not being able to sleep is one reason I was able to get completely unpacked and settled. Get the plates and some drinks, will ya?” I nod in the direction of the cabinets she’ll need.
Thankfully, Brittany lets it go. She grabs the plates, sets them down on the table, fixes us drinks, and then finds the silverware. Her phone rings and she steps into the living room to answer. By the time she finishes her conversation, dinner is ready and on the table.
“Sorry. It was my mom. She still calls every few days to check in,” Brittany says as we take a seat.
“Have you told her how you’re really doing?”
“No, but I think she can tell. She seems to ask me more specific questions every time I talk to her. I tell her the truth mostly.” She pauses to take a bite of food, which makes me happy considering the weight she’s lost. “If we’re supposed to be completely honest with each other, how come you’ve been holding back on me?” Her eyes widen a bit. “Or am I overstepping by wanting to talk to you so often?” She drops her gaze down to her plate. “I don’t want to bother you, so I can stop texting and calling so much if you want. I didn’t mean to—”
“Britt.” Her gaze snaps to mine, those brown eyes boring into me. I can’t quite make out the way she’s looking at me. It’s a bit bothersome, considering I’ve always been able to read her so easily. Maybe it’s because I said it a bit too loud in order to gain her attention. “I’m sorry.”
The corners of her mouth fall in a frown as her brows pinch together. “For what?”
“For holding back. You haven’t been doing anything wrong, or anything I haven’t wanted you to do.” I want her to talk to me as often as she wants. We discuss more than what’s wrong with us and I enjoy it probably more than I should. Obviously, considering I felt like whatever it is we are is something important enough to mention during my job interview so I wouldn’t break any employee/student policies in the future.
She smiles, but it’s not completely genuine. “Then it’s officially a two-way street with us now?”
“Yeah,” I say, despite the fact that it’s going to be a difficult task for me. My job is to listen to people, help them through their problems, and help carry the weight of the burden. It’s not for me to unleash my problems onto them. It’s different with Brittany, I know, but the things I do for my job have transferred over into my life. I’d rather listen than talk. I’d rather be helpful than complain. It’s why I’m about to shift the conversation again. “Can I ask you something without you getting defensive?”
Her eyes narrow automatically. “Sure,” she answers with caution.
“Have you been taking your meds like you should? You aren’t skipping doses or going cold turkey?” She always hated taking medication, but she did it anyway because it helped. Every now and then, though, she’d either stop or skip doses because she was tired of taking them.
Brittany sighs, but she nods. “It’s been hard for me, but I’ve been diligent about it. I’ve only missed one dose since I’ve been in college.”
“Good.”
“Okay, let’s talk about something else. How are you enjoying it here so far? Is counseling college students better or worse than your old job?”
I’m all for taking a step away from our issues for a while. “Yeah, I like the town and my new position. It’s different, but in a way, it’s the same too. I haven’t had much interaction with students yet because I’m still settling in, so I’m excited about that.”
“How did you choose this as your career anyway?”
“I chose it by accident while being stubborn,” I laugh. “I was in college, lost and not doing so well up here,” I tap my temple, “and I didn’t want to get help. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was going through. I figured if I could learn everything a professional knew, then I could help myself. I really enjoyed the classes. I couldn’t help myself, as it turned out, but I could help others.”
Brittany laughs. “So because you didn’t want to accept help, you got a degree that allows you to be the very person you didn’t want help from? That’s funny.” She chuckles for a moment longer before asking, “Was it hard to leave and come here?”
I shake my head. “I wasn’t leaving anything behind.” And I wasn’t. My family lives in Texas, so I was only leaving an ex-wife. This move was just what I needed, even if it’s been hard as hell so far. Brittany lifts her hand to her mouth to cover a yawn. “Am I boring you?” I laugh.
She giggles and shakes her head. “No.
It’s been a long day, though. Thank you for dinner.”
“You’re welcome. Do you want to talk about your long day?”
