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“Why are we here?” I ask.
“Because I’m your friend, something is wrong, and we need privacy so you can tell me.” She leads the way to her apartment and takes a seat on her couch, patting the spot next to her. “Tell me what’s going on, Brittany.”
Before I can second-guess myself, the words spill from my mouth in a jumbled mess. “I suffer from anxiety and depression. It’s been pretty bad for a while. I’m not seeing anyone or taking my meds and it’s just bad. Trace has come back into my life and he wants to be together again, but I don’t know if I can trust him. Then I go and almost have sex with Quinn, but Trace caught us. He thinks I did have sex with him and I would have! He’s given up on me. I’ve given up on me. My mom had a heart attack and is having surgery today and I can’t be there because she doesn’t want me there. My life is a mess.” The story starts coming out from the beginning, from high school until now.
At some point, Melissa hugs me and doesn’t let go. I eventually stop talking.
“I’m here for you,” she tells me. “I can’t say I’ve ever gone through this, but I’ll help you any way I can.”
“Thanks. No advice?”
“Nope. I don’t think you need it, because I think you already know everything you need to do.”
“Don’t be a good, smart friend,” I grumble, making her laugh.
“Should have chosen another friend. We should get back to work. You talked a long time, and we’ll be late if we don’t go. I’m going to give you my cell number. We are officially friends, not just co-workers.”
“Thanks.” I can definitely use a good friend. On the way back to the office, my dad sends me a text.
Dad: Mom is good! Surgery is over and she’ll go home tomorrow. Everything went as planned. She is okay and wants you to call her when you get off work.
Me: Will do. Love you both!
“Everything went fine with my mom’s surgery.”
“That’s great,” Melissa says.
“Should I tell Trace? He was worried about her last night before…”
Melissa seems to think about it. “You could text him.”
So, I do.
Me: Mom made it through her surgery okay. Just wanted to let you know.
He doesn’t respond. Though, I shouldn’t be surprised.
“Everything will be okay,” Melissa tells me when she pulls into the parking lot at work.
“I hope so.” She was right earlier, too. I do know what I need to do. The problem is finding the courage and strength to do it.
Fury has kept me on edge since I walked in and saw two naked bodies on Brittany’s couch. It’s only grown in strength and size as the weekend passes with Lily’s fence and doggie door being installed and as Monday rolls around. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that she slept with him when I’ve been trying to win her back. It was pointless. She definitely meant it when she told me she hated me. I was so sure there was still some love left, but there couldn’t have been for her to go off and do what she did.
I give up.
I could deal with her not taking care of herself.
I could deal with her resistance and uneasiness of getting back together.
I can not deal with her fucking someone else while I’m trying to put us back together.
The funny thing is I never would’ve known had she not texted me that night. I couldn’t get a feel for how she was doing and how much I needed to worry about her. She didn’t respond to my texts, so I decided to drive over and check on her. The moment I opened the door and saw the two of them, my body reacted before my brain could fully catch up, slamming the door and walking away.
Now, I’m in the waiting room before my appointment with Mrs. Kirk. I need to talk about this because I haven’t yet, but I’m not looking forward to it at all. Ben has been irritating the shit out of me because I’ve been in a sour mood. I didn’t talk to him, though. I don’t want to say the words out loud. I don’t want to admit defeat. I don’t want to say it’s over. I don’t want to think about any of it.
“Trace, come on back.” I follow Mrs. Kirk to her office. She eyes me for a moment and then asks, “How are you?”
“Not too bad.”
