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Voice B worries about my job. What if one day my anxiety and depression take over so much that they fire me? Or I hurt a patient because I’m not on my game? What if I’m late tomorrow? I already want to call in sick, but that’s not right or fair.
Voice C? It’s all nonsense. I wonder what kind of bird it is that’s always outside my window chirping in the mornings. Do I see my therapist on a Wednesday or a Thursday? I wonder if my fish really is a mister. I need to wash my sheets soon. Maybe Justin will sleep over after our date tomorrow. Is it weird that I’ve yet to visit his place? I think it is.
Now, compile all those sentences on top of one another and that’s my brain right now. That’s my brain until about three in the morning when exhaustion finally shuts it down and I can fall into a heavy sleep.
And what feels like two seconds later, FC shakes my shoulder to wake me up. I groan. It’s too soon. Way too soon.
“I came to say goodbye, as requested,” he tells me in a soft voice.
I sit up and hold my arms out. He bends down and embraces me, allowing my arms to fold around his neck. “Tell me a secret before you go.” My yawn makes it sound more like a question.
For a few heartbeats, we hold each other in silence. I feel his neck move as he swallows. “Out of all the people I know, all the people I’ve met, you’re the only one I can never live without.” Just like that, the air in my lungs evaporates, even as FC tries to ease the effect of the bomb he just dropped. “That means you’ll forever be stuck with me,” he adds with a chuckle.
His arms pull away from mine, which unfortunately means I have to do the same. “Go back to sleep. We’ll talk soon.” I nod and lie back down. FC pulls my covers up to my shoulders. My heart combusts when he leans down and kisses my cheek. “Bye, Idaline.”
“Bye,” I manage to squeak.
He flashes a smile and heads out the door, saying a goodbye to Mr. Fish as well. My fingers reach up to touch the magical place his lips met my cheek. I swear, my skin tingles. There’s no way I can go back to sleep now.
That makes my day so freaking long. Twelve-hour shifts feel like twenty-four hours when you’re running on an hour of sleep. Praise the coffee beans for providing delicious coffee to keep me going. Unfortunately, a crazy shift and a restless night means I’m in no mood for a date with Justin. I waste no time calling him when I leave work.
“Don’t tell me he’s back,” Justin answers.
I laugh. “He’s not.”
“Good,” he replies curtly.
“But I do have semi-bad news.”
Justin groans. “You’re killing me, sweetheart.”
My cheeks warm at hearing him call me sweetheart. “I’m exhausted. Work was long and hard and well, work. But I only got about an hour of sleep last night because I just couldn’t sleep. Can we spend the night in and go to the fair tomorrow?”
“Yeah, of course. You know what? Come to my house. I think I have just the trick for you to relax.
Bring a bathing suit. I’ll text you my address.”
I want to question the bathing suit part, but decide not to. After a stop at home to feed Mr. Fish, shower, and to pack a bag, I drive to Justin’s. His apartment complex is way nicer than mine. I can only imagine that his apartment will look the same. My smile widens when I spot Justin waiting on the sidewalk. He walks over as I get out of the car and grabs my bag.
His arms loop around my waist and he kisses me softly. “I’m glad to have you all to myself for a night.”
“I’m looking forward to it too.”
We head up to his apartment. “I already have dinner ready,” he says. “I figured since you had a bad day, I better whip something up real quick.”
“Thank you.” I sneak in a quick kiss before he can open the door.
After getting settled in his apartment, which is just as nice as I thought it would be, we sit down at his table to eat spaghetti. That’s apparently when Justin wants to grill me about my time with FC in a roundabout way. I don’t know how much more he could want to know. He texted me pretty often while we were out.
“So, did you have fun winning Mr. Fish and that monkey?” he asks.
“FC won them for me. I suck at those games and he used to be a pitcher in high school, so I definitely took advantage of that to get the monkey. I had my favorite cotton candy, too, and I stole some of FC’s funnel cake when he wasn’t paying attention.” That was before our night went downhill, though. I still can’t get rid of that feeling of being on edge either.
“You’re really comfortable with someone you’ve only met three times now,” he comments.
I shrug. “I’ve known him for so long, though. How has your day been?”
“Good. I’m seeing you, so I won’t complain.” Justin smiles.
