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For some reason, I was hoping he wouldn't ask about her. “Well,” I trail.
Maddie leans over so her face is in view of the camera. “Hey, Dave.”
His mouth falls open with shock. “Maddie? What are you doing? Why are you with Winston? Were you at the party?”
“Do you have to know all that, Dave?” she smarts back. “Winston is being nice by walking me back to my dorm since it's so late at night. He'll call you later.” Maddie reaches out and ends our video call. “He's going to be pissed about that, isn't he?”
“Probably.”
“Why didn't you want him to know I was with you?” she asks softly.
“You saw his reaction. It would be easier if he didn't know. Less explaining, I guess.”
Maddie nods as she looks down at her knees. As her words run through my mind again, I feel a little bad because in a way, she's right. I never saw her quite the way she wanted. Dave has always been attached to her.
“I'm sorry-” I start, only to have her cut me off.
“Can we forget it, please? Once and for all?” She rests her elbows on her knees and covers her face with her hands.
I try to pull her hands away, but she won't budge. “Maddie, don't make me go to the extreme.” I need her to look at me.
“What extreme?” she mumbles through her hands.
I tug again and when she doesn't move, I grab her waist and move her tiny body into my lap, tickling her sides. When they were younger, Dave used to practically torture her by tickle attacks.
“Winston!” she screeches, wiggling in my lap. “Stop! Please,” she breathes through a fit of giggles. “Fine!” she adds.
My hands freeze, resting on her hips, as I watch her try to regain control of her breathing.
“I can't believe you would stoop so low, Winston.”
“I warned you.”
“Yeah, well, it's going to cost you a box of Gobstoppers.”
“Gobstoppers? You still eat those things?” I'm surprised the girl didn't get sick from all the candy she ate. Maddie was, and apparently still is, addicted to munching on those.
“I have five boxes in my dorm, so yeah, I still eat them, but only when I'm stressed. They help me focus when I'm studying or doing homework.” Maddie moves back to her seat next to me.
“I'm really sorry about everything, Maddie. I wish you would have talked to me, but I understand why you didn't. If I could go back and change it, I would in a heartbeat.”
She abruptly stands and looks down at me. I should have left it alone because she's closed me out now. Any hopes of fixing things go out the window as she says, “You know what, my dorm sounds pretty nice right about now.”
For a moment, I debate on if I should say anything or not to try to make her stay. Might as well walk her there, if that's what she wants. I stand, swinging my arm out for her to lead the way. Maddie gives me a fake glare, but starts walking.
“Just so you know, you were so much hotter when I didn't have your attention.”
I laugh, faintly noting that she thinks I'm hot. “Would you rather I ignore you?”
“No,” she answers softly. After a moment, she adds, “You know what I hated the most about us? You were this give-it-all kind of guy with everything and everyone but me.”
Maddie has been careful not to look over at me, which is okay because I keep glancing at her. “What do you mean a 'give-it-all' guy?” What the hell is that?
“Well, like hockey, for example. I never saw you play, but anyone with eyes and a brain could tell that you were dedicated, passionate, and you gave it everything you had to do your best and be your best. You do that with school, with Dave, and you love your parents like that too. That's the way you are and always have been with everything in your life that means something to you.”
That's the way she sees me? Wow. I try to process what she says, noting how the wording of her last sentence excluded herself. I want to say something, to reassure her that I was that way with her too, but I can't because she's right. There was one thing I could have done to prove that to her and I didn't do it. We come up to the door of her building before I can think of anything worth saying. Maddie turns towards me, that awkward goodbye air surrounding us. She lifts her head to look me in the eyes.
There's so much I want to say, but I don't. Instead, I unthinkingly yet slowly lean down to kiss her forehead, and murmur, “Night, Maddie.” Standing upright and rigid because of my gesture, I quickly get away from her and her wide, green-brown eyes without waiting for a response.
