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“I'm going shopping this weekend too, if you want to go.”
“Okay. That sounds like fun.”
Audra laughs and rolls onto her back so she can look at me. “Really?”
“Of course.” Okay, I don't like the idea of shopping itself, but I haven't bought anything for baby girl yet, and I do want to do that. “Saturday, right?”
“Yes.” She reaches up, grabs my chin between her thumb and forefinger
and turns my head left and right a couple of times.
“What are you doing?” I laugh.
“Between you and me, she's going to be a beautiful.”
I put my hand on her stomach and nod. “Yes, she will be.” Seeing Audra like this, I realize that there's something else I want. We need to talk more about how things will work after the baby comes. But there's something else. I don't know if I should bring it up or not. Hopefully, I won't upset her. This is all Bo's fucking fault anyway. I'll blame him if I do.
“Audra, could I talk to you about something?”
“Of course.”
“I would like for us to at least try to be in a relationship, if that's something you might want.”
She tries to hide her surprise, but she doesn't do a good job. “You want us to be in a relationship?” Audra asks skeptically. “For the baby, right?”
I shake my head. “No, for us. I don't want only a parent-type relationship with you. It wouldn't be so terrible to see if there was something romantically between us, don't you think?” I want to roll my eyes at myself. That sounds so ridiculous, but I don't have the perfect words to explain what I mean.
Audra is quiet for so dreadfully long. She watches me, obviously thinking about it. “I don't always say nice things to you,” she starts.
“I know,” I interrupt, preparing myself for her to say something not-nice again.
“And you still want to date me?” Her voice is soft, and I feel like there's something else she's worried about.
“Yep. Without a doubt.” I might not be good with words, but I have no problem being honest.
Audra slides her hands around her stomach and then rests them on her thighs. “I look like a whale. Are you just remembering what I looked like before when you look at me? Because I'm not getting that body back anytime soon. How are you even attracted to me right now?” She frowns like that is a seriously troubling question.
“You don't feel attractive, Audra?”
She shakes her head. “Not really.”
Audra's beautiful. Always has been. I don't like that she's not feeling pretty. “Stand up. Do you have a full length mirror and some lipstick?” She nods, looking confused. “Take me to it.” Reluctantly, she does. After she grabs the lipstick, I place it on the foot of her bed. I'll use that later. Her room is tidy, but small. I position her in front of the mirror and she's right. Our baby will be beautiful. We look really good together.
My fingers curl under her shirt and Audra tenses. “I'm going to take this off,” I tell her in a low voice.
“Neil, no.”
“You're beautiful and you know it because you said our baby would be beautiful too. I want to show you that you're beautiful like this too. Please?”
She stares at me through the mirror for a moment before nodding. I take her shirt off and throw it behind me without looking. Audra giggles, but sucks in a sharp breath when I rest my hands on her bare hips.
“Pants too,” I urge.
Her eyes widen. “Neil, definitely not.” She shakes her head. “I haven't shaved lately. Too much work, so it's not happening.”
“If it makes you feel better, I won't even touch your legs.”
Audra stares at me through the mirror before she unhappily removes her pants. She's tense, standing in front of me, our eyes still on the mirror. Audra looks tempting and lovely. Her bra is plain nude, but her underwear is a pair of black boy shorts. I kind of like them. I want to loosen her up a bit, so I grin. My hands slide up, turning into fists, and my knuckles brush the sides of her breasts.
