AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I laugh, handing it back over. “Sounds like you already are.”
Lucy sets it on the nightstand and cuddles up to me. She's quiet for a few minutes, her fingers constantly moving around the small area of my back where her hands are. “I'm a little scared about telling you. Things might change between us or even worse, you'll treat me like Jon and Corey. Like I'm fragile when I'm not.”
“I know you aren't, Lucy, but you can back out if you're worried about it.”
“No, I'm not going to do that. I just wanted to tell you I was scared. I...I haven't talked about it in a long time, so be patient with me, okay?”
“Of course.”
Her phone rings and she sighs before getting up and going to grab it from her purse. “Hey, Patrick,” she answers, coming back to me. I listen to her side of the conversation. “I'm with Grant. Yes. No. I'm sure.” She laughs. “I love you too. Bye.”
“Checking in?”
“Yeah. Let's go to sleep?”
I pull her closer and kiss her softly. “Whatever you want.”
Those blue eyes peek from underneath long, black lashes. “Thank you, Grant.”
AUDRA HAS CLASS tonight, so I'm meeting her at her place for lunch before she goes into work for a couple of hours. I text her that I'm on my way, and she responds that she wants a quick back massage before I leave. I can't help but smile. Ever since I left her house the other night, I've had a good feeling about things. We start childbirth classes next week, plus a doctor's appointment again. Our date is Sunday afternoon with a three game weekend starting Thursday. I want to ask her about moving in, but I'm not sure. Not to mention that means kicking my friends out. This baby will be here before the school year ends, so I don't know if they'll be able to find another place or not. Especially when they aren't paying rent now. I can think about it later. Maybe ask Bo his opinion.
“Audra?” I call as I walk into her apartment with the bag of food.
“Down here,” she answers.
I follow the sound of her voice after placing the bag on the kitchen table, which leads me to the hallway leading to her room. My eyes almost pop out of my head as I see her balancing on a stepladder as she reaches for something in the top of the closet.
“What the fuck are you doing, Audra?” I shout, rushing to her and grabbing a gentle hold on her hips. “Get down! Are you fucking crazy?! You could fall!” The images of the horror play in my mind as she steps down back onto the floor. “I told you I was on my way. Why the hell couldn't you have waited? God damn it!” I run a hand in my hair and begin to pace now that she's safely on the ground and off the death trap of a stepladder.
“Neil, I was fine.”
“No, you weren't! You could have lost your balance, Audra! You can't do shit like that! I can't-” I turn to face her and stop myself before I can yell at her further. Her eyes are watery. Shit, I've upset her and probably scared her. I reach out to take her hands, pulling her into my arms, wrapping her in a hug. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,” I whisper over and over to her as her shoulders shake while she begins to cry.
“You can't what?” her voice croaks into my chest, asking the one question I wish I didn't have to answer. Maybe if I'm silent long enough, she'll magically forget it. “You can't what, Neil?” she asks again.
I sigh. “There's something I should tell you. You might hate me afterwards.”
Audra lifts her head, granting me the opportunity to wipe away her tears. “Why?”
“C'mon, let's go sit down.”
She follows me into the living room, and we have a seat on the couch. Audra turns towards me, so she can listen to every word. For a moment, I wonder if I could get out of this somehow, but then Bo's words about the Lanier's pass through my mind again. I was going to have to tell her eventually. With a deep breath, I tell her what no one at the university knows, with Bo as the sole exception.
“In high school, I was dating this girl, Candace. She meant everything to me, especially once I found out that she was carrying my baby. We were in our senior year and we were careless. Not once did I question being there for them both. I wanted to be. I loved her.” I take a shaky breath.
Audra holds my hand and quietly asks, “What happened?”
“Her parents and little sister left for the weekend and she wasn't feeling well, so she didn't go to my game.” My throat tightens and I remove my hand from hers, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees to rest my face in my hands. God, I don't want to go through this. I don't want to say it. I don't want to tell her. Audra starts rubbing my back for comfort.
“There was something on the top shelf in a closet that was at the top of the stairs that she wanted.” I swallow what feels like a huge lump in my throat. “She was short to start with, but she needed a stepladder to reach that far up. When she fell, she was so close to the stairs that she tumbled all the way down, and...she was dead before the game even started that night. I didn't get there until after my game was over.”
I squeeze my eyes closed as images of her on the floor resurface in my mind. She hit her head a few times on the way down, which killed her before she could get any help. Once she died, so did our baby. The panic I felt overwhelmed me at seeing her like that was just as strong as what's still surging through my veins at seeing Audra on that stepladder. I take another deep breath, so I can keep going.
“I didn't know she was lying at the bottom of the staircase dying while I was at my game. Calling her parents was one of the worst phone calls I've ever had to make.” I swallow hard and continue, “Afterwards, I had a really hard time dealing with it. Almost quit hockey and my relationship with my parents was really rocky, still is. That's why I panicked when I saw you. I can't lose you too, Audra. I can't.”
Finally, I turn to look at her. The tears are back in her eyes, so I pull her to me. My chest feels a little lighter now than it did a while a
go. She doesn't say anything for a bit, and neither do I. I have no words left right now.
