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“Neil,” Audra brings me back to her. “What happened with Bo? Please don't do anything stupid,” she echoes, which seriously pisses me off.
I slide the gearshift into reverse.
“Neil!” Bo bangs on the window again. “Put it back in park! Now!”
Audra panics when she hears Bo, her voice rising with fear. “Do it, Neil. Let him take you home. Please,” her voice cracks and I know she's crying.
“Fuck!” I hit the steering wheel in frustration because I didn't want to make her cry. It pisses me off though. She wants to call now? In the middle of this when I should've been with her instead? Bo is still pounding on the window, but all I hear is Audra.
“If you drive and you're drunk, you and maybe even someone else is going to get hurt. What if you die, Neil? What am I supposed to do without you? Let him drive. Come stay with me tonight.”
“I'm not drunk.”
“Yes, you are!” she snaps. I hear a long exhale, and then she stabs me in the fucking heart. “You lost Candace. Don't do anything that would make me lose you. I'm not supposed to do anything risky and you aren't allowed to either, Neil.” I barely hear her whisper through her tears, “I need you. We need you.”
I move the gearshift back into park. Bo stops hitting my window for now, and I realize I drew a crowd outside. Okay, only the guys, but still.
“I'm sorry. He'll drive me over there, okay?”
“Thank you. Call me if it takes longer than it should.”
I agree and hang up. All my anger is gone now. I'm the fucking bastard. Unlocking my doors, I get out of the car and once I close the door, Bo shoves me against the car, my collar in his fists.
“You're a fucking idiot! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Get off of me!” I push him backward. “If you would've left me the fuck alone, I would have sat in the damn car.”
“She was on the phone, wasn't she?” He shakes his head. “You're a selfish piece of shit, Neil.” Selfish? “Good luck being a fa-”
I lunge forward and punch him in the jaw before he even finishes. He throws one at me, getting me right in the eye as Winston and Grant rush over.
“Enough!” Winston yells once they've separated us, pushing me around to the other side of the car. “Get in the car and shut the fuck up.” He roughly shoves me into the back seat before slamming the door. I watch as Lucy and Maddie walk with Bo to Maddie's car and then, Winston and Grant get in with me.
“You going home or somewhere else?” Winston curtly asks.
“Somewhere else.” I give him Audra's address.
The car is deathly silent on the drive. When we get there, Grant asks if I'm good to walk to her apartm
ent myself. Yes, I am. I'm not that fucking drunk, thank you. I do walk slowly to her building, though, because the ground is covered with stupid snow, and I don't want to fall. I'm already sore from the couple of hits Bo managed to get me with. Time seems to move in slow motion as I lift my hand to knock on Audra's door. I don't know why because I have a key somewhere.
I'm patting my pockets for my key when I realize that Winston's driving my car, so he has my key. Audra opens the door with puffy eyes and wet cheeks. That sight kills me, making me feel even worse than I already did.
She gasps. “What happened to you?” Her fingers reach up and gingerly touch around my eye.
“I'm sorry.” I flinch, but it isn't from her touch. I can hear myself slur.
“You should be. Come in, so I can get something for your eye.”
“No, it's okay,” I tell her as I walk to her couch. I don't deserve anything to make me feel better. Audra ignores me and walks into the living room seconds later with a bag of frozen peas. She sits sideways in my lap and puts the bag over my eye carefully, watching me. “I'm sorry,” I say again.
“What happened? I've never seen you like this.”
I close my one good eye. “Nothing, babe. I don't want to talk about it.”
“What if I tell you why I didn't answer earlier? If I do that, will you talk to me?” Her voice is so soft, so caring. I don't deserve it. Not tonight, at least. “Neil, look at me.” My eye opens and she sets down the bag of peas, cupping my cheeks. “You scared me tonight. You owe me an explanation. So if I tell you, are you going to tell me?” When I nod, she kisses me.
She rests her head on my shoulder and starts talking. “I overreacted and froze when you asked me because the last guy I dated was controlling. He wasn't always like that, but the longer we dated, the more he tried to take over my life and everything I did. When I ended things, it didn't go so well. I looked a lot like you do right now.” My hand balls into a fist on her back, but I don't say anything. “It started with little things, so every time you mentioned wanting me to do something or anything like that, I panicked a bit. I know you aren't like that, but I reacted like you were anyway. Being pregnant doesn't help with my crazy thoughts either. I'm sorry, Neil.”
