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“Luce would tell him anyway, so if you have something to say, you might as well say it now. And don’t even use Olivia as an excuse either. We both know why.”
“What are you talking about?” Lucy and Jon both ask at the same time. Patrick didn’t tell Jon? That surprises me.
Lucy sighs. “Why do we never talk about anything? You all never want to say anything to me, and it feels like everyone is keeping secrets or holding back. We’re supposed to be a family. One that is there for one another, but how can we do that when no one is being completely honest?” Softer, she adds, “I’m tired of it being this way.” Grant reaches over and holds her hand.
“Everything is fine right now, Luce,” I say. That’s not a lie either.
“Promise?”
I nod.
“Then what was Patrick talking about with Olivia?”
Kill me freaking now. “She was just there during one of the times when things weren’t fine, okay? That’s it. All we need to focus on is that we’re all fine right now.”
“That doesn’t really tell me anything.”
I groan. “Let it go, Luce. Patrick can tell you later, if you want. If we keep talking about this, it’ll ruin dinner.”
“I think we’ve already accomplished that,” Jon chuckles.
“Then let’s leave,” I snap.
“Corey,” Olivia says as she squeezes my hand. This is a fucking nightmare.
For the first time, Lucy gets really pissed and upset with me. More so than on the last anniversary of our parents’ deaths when I upset her. “She knows, doesn’t she? Whatever is going on with you, she knows all of it. You’re such a hypocrite. I can’t talk to Grant, and you won’t talk to us, but she gets to know it all? We shouldn’t be left out, Corey. We’re your family. I guess that doesn’t mean anything to you anymore.” She stands and rushes outside.
Grant goes to follow after her, but I stop him. “Don’t even think about it.” His jaw locks as I follow after her. She’s wiping away a tear when I walk up to her. “Luce,” I start, but she cuts me off.
“It feels like you’re not even my brother anymore. And I’m not the only one who feels this way.” She stabs me right in the heart. “This has to do with football, doesn’t it? Why can’t you talk to us? It’s not like this is about our parents. We’re supposed to be there for each other, but you won’t let us. Instead, you keep secrets and tell her and get pissed when I talk to Grant. I have to tell someone, Corey. I have to talk to someone besides you and Patrick and Jon. Wouldn’t you rather it be him instead of one of my friends?
“I want my brother back. You haven’t been you, and apparently, you’re faking it or lying about something when you seem like normal again. What’s going on? Please, just tell me.”
My head shakes. I can’t. I can’t tell her. No amount of pleading and begging will make me do it. Her shoulders fall in defeat. Her mouth opens, but I manage to find words to stop her. “Luce, I can’t. I’m sorry, I really am, but I can’t do it. Not today, at least. Take my word for it that I’m good right now. I’m working on things and that’s all I can say. Talk to Grant about whatever you want, Luce. If it helps you, go ahead.”
“You won’t tell me?” She’s disappointed. There’s nothing I can do about that.
“It’s more of a can’t. Not a won’t.”
“Why?”
Closing my eyes, I sigh and take a deep breath. “You know I would do absolutely anything for you, right?” She nods. “I?
?m asking you to do this for me. Give me more time and leave this alone. Please.”
Her eyes are watery and she swallows hard as she thinks. “Okay, but you have to stop lying to us.”
I nod because I don’t want to make a promise. When I lift my arms, she steps forward and gives me a hug. “I’m sorry, Luce. You don’t have to worry about me, I promise.”
“Doesn’t mean I won’t.”
“I know. C’mon, let’s go back inside.”
This is why I hate surprises.
THE DINNER NEVER really turned around, but that’s okay. I got through to Lucy, I think, so I’m good for a while. When we get back, Olivia and I go our separate ways. I’m ready for bed. Maybe the medicine is helping a little because the next morning, while I feel like staying in bed all day, I don’t want to either. Therefore, I take a deep breath, gather all my strength, and get up. It doesn’t exhaust me too much to do so.
Around nine, there’s a knock on my door. I almost don’t answer it, but the only person it can be is Olivia. Why is she knocking? The bad feeling returns in my gut as I answer the door. I blink. My gaze flips back and forth between her and the football she’s holding in her hands. What in the hell is she doing?
