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She shrugs. “We all get busy; it's okay. Is that why you came in?” She slides it into the toaster and faces me.
“Not exactly. Do you work Saturday?” Eva nods. “Think you could switch for Sunday?”
The other, older guy who's working with her has finished up at the cash register and comes over. “No, she can not.”
Eva laughs as she retrieves the sub. “Oh, come on, Barry. When have I ever asked to switch shifts with someone?”
“Never, but when that someone would be me, I think the answer is no.” I can't tell if he's joking or not. It's then I notice his name tag also includes “manager.” Maybe I should have waited.
“You're the boss. Make someone else work and give yourself the weekend off,” Eva tells him, putting the same ingredients on it as last time.
Barry has been watching me with narrowed eyes. “Fine, but only because you're a stellar employee and have never asked to switch. I'm going for a smoke break while things seem to have calmed down.” He walks away, disappearing into the back.
“Am I going to have to get up as early this Saturday as last time?” Eva asks as we move down to the register.
“No. I was thinking I'd pick you up around ten? There's a bit of traveling involved.”
Her brows rise, but she doesn't ask. “Okay. I'll be ready then. Do you want me to meet you at your apartment?”
Can I just say that I love she loves surprises? Not only that, but she trusts me enough to not ask about what we're doing or where I'm taking her. She's content in waiting to find out and trusting me to make it worth the wait.
“I can pick you up, but if you want to meet me there, you can.”
“I'll meet you.”
I nod, handing her my card to run. “Wear clothes and shoes you don't mind getting dirty, and bring a change of clean clothes and shoes. You'll need them.”
She hands it back to me, tilting her head. “You're making it very hard not to ask questions.”
I laugh. “Sorry.” Someone comes in, so I add, “I'll see you later, Eva.”
“Bye, Emerson.”
The closer Saturday comes, the more nervous I become. Never has going home made me this nervous. All because it's the same town Kelly is in and I'm taking Eva there. I've been feeling a mixture of excitement for what we'll be doing, but also a little guilt. There's always a twinge of guilt involved when I see a girl. I hate it. At first, it was reassuring. It sealed it for me that what Kelly was asking of me was wrong, that I shouldn't be doing it even if she had asked.
I wonder if it'll ever go away, if I'll ever want it to go away. Kelly is supposed to be the love of my life after all, right? If the guilt goes away, then it means she wasn't. What will happen at the end of the two years then? If she's ready for me, what if I don't want to get back together? I've never had these types of thoughts before. Everything I've done had one purpose: to do what Kelly asked of me until we were back together again.
The knock on my door sends these thoughts away, thankfully. Eva is standing on the other side, wearing a plain white t-shirt, shorts, and tennis shoes. There's a tote bag hanging off her shoulder.
“Shorts, okay?” she asks, glancing down at herself.
“Yeah, shorts will be fine. Come on in,” I say, stepping aside. “I need to grab my things and my keys.” As I walk down the hall to my bedroom, I hear her soft footsteps following me.
“I feel like I should explain what happened last week,” she tells me.
“You don't have to,” I tell her, unsure of how she's going to explain it.
“It would be nice to never have to think about it again, but I don't think I can do that yet.” I pick up my duffle bag and face her. Her arms are crossed, and she looks a little nervous. “Why I said what I did is still a mystery to me and I'm so sorry I blurted it out like that.” Eva glances down as she shifts her weight. “I'm just not quite ready to make the step to sex yet, and in the midst of things with you, I sort of lose a bit of my strong stance on waiting. So, I blurt out stupid things to stop myself, I guess.”
I cross over to her, running a hand down her arm and clasping her hand in mine. “I wasn't trying to pressure you.” And I wasn't, not at all.
“I know,” she interrupts.
“When you're ready, I'll be ready. No rush, Eva.” There really isn't either. I'm glad she told me though. It's always better to know where she really stands on the matter, and now that I know, I can be sure not to do anything to make her feel pressured or uncomfortable.
“Thanks.” It's as if a weight has lifted from her shoulders and she gives me a smile.
“Let's go then.”
