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I nod again, not trusting myself to speak. This is not the time to accidentally say something stupid. He squeezes his eyes closed and rests his forehead against mine. Once he's collected himself, his hands go to my hips and he pushes me up to stand. We walk inside, hand in hand, and Emerson tells his parents where we're going and that we'll be back.
Not a word is spoken on the short drive to Kelly's house. When we park, I realize we pass this house every time we come here. There's only one car in the driveway today. Emerson holds my hand like it's his lifeline and I worry about losing blood flow.
The door opens before he can knock. The woman looks like an older version of Kelly. Her eyes are red and puffy, but she smiles when she sees us. We step inside and she hugs Emerson.
“She didn't want anyone to know,” she whispers to him. “She loved you so much.” His grip tightens and I know he's fighting to hold his composure. She pulls away and turns to me. “You must be Eva.” I gulp, nodding. I wasn't expecting her to know my name, or know about me at all. The woman hugs me as well. “Thank you for coming.” She leads us to the kitchen, and we sit at the table. “Her service will be Wednesday afternoon.”
“We'll be here,” Emerson assures her.
“Thank you.”
“Is there anything we can do?” There's a desperation in his tone, like he's begging her to say yes, to put him to work.
She shakes her head. “I feel like everything has been planned and set in motion for so long now; it's just a matter of getting it done. Thank you though.” She takes a deep breath, glancing at me before settling her gaze on Emerson. “We fought twice as much as you two did over her asking for a break. I didn't agree with how she wanted to handle it, but you knew Kelly. Once her mind was set, there wasn't much you could do to change it.” She speaks so lovingly and I can't help but hurt with every past-tense verb. I wish I could have met her. How messed up is that?
“But she loved you more than anything and she felt sure it was for the best for you both. She couldn't stand the thought of you watching her slip away,” she chokes up, wiping away a tear. “She wanted you to be happy, Emerson, and that was her way of making it happen. She was willing to sacrifice her time with you to do so.
“And she didn't tell anyone. She hid it because she didn't want word getting back to you. We didn't know how long it would be, but we knew it was coming. Kelly wanted things to be as normal as possible for herself and for everyone else. She died satisfied and that's all I care about.”
Emerson's hand is squeezing the life out of mine. He's trying not to break down again and hell, even I'm holding back tears. He swallows hard multiple times as Kelly's mother pats the hand he has resting on the table. “Did she tell you she was calling me?” His voice is broken and he's never seemed more vulnerable, more childlike, and lost than he does right now.
Her mother nods. “She wanted to make sure you were happy.”
“Did she...” Emerson squeezes his eyes closed. “Did she say anything after our last conversation?” He can't stop the tears streaming down his face and it hits me. He went off on her; that's what he said. Guilt must be eating him alive.
She nods again. “She was upset at first, but Emerson, she couldn't stop smiling when she realized what it meant. She kept saying, 'Mom, he called her his girl.' In the end, she was thrilled you asked her to stop. She told me she could do as you asked.” Emerson frowns with confusion and she continues, “She was able to be happy and live the rest of her life, Emerson. I wish I could say I was sorry for the way things have happened, but,” she glances at me again, “considering my daughter's dying wish was granted, I can't say it.”
Emerson nods and stands, inadvertently dragging me with him since he hasn't let go of my hand. Mrs. Price stands as well and hugs him. Emerson hugs her tightly with one arm.
“We need to go,” he tells her. “If there's anything you need, please let me know, okay?”
She pats his cheek lovingly. “Thank you. I love you, you know?”
“I know. I love you, too.”
She moves to hug me. “Take care of him,” she says quietly.
“I will and I'm so sorry for your loss.”
She stands back, gives me a short nod, and then we're leaving. Emerson hands me the keys when we get close to the truck. He shakes his head, opening the driver's door and scooting over to the passenger side. I stare at him. He wants me to drive?
“Please,” he whispers, his eyes on the house.
This is not the time to be freaking out, but I've never driven a truck before. All I can think about is how Emerson said women can't drive them, how he didn't want me to drive his, but he would let me if I asked and now, I have to because he can't. I never wanted to drive his truck.
With shaky hands, I manage to stick the key in the ignition. I want to ask him if he's sure about this, but I can't.
“To your parents?” I ask instead.
“No, let's go home.”
I gulp and with great caution, I back out of the driveway. I'm careful and barely drive over the speed limit. Emerson doesn't say a word the entire two-hour drive to his apartment. My mind is an endless loop of worries. He's not okay. Who would be? I just don't like that I don't know how to make things better.
The only thing I know is I hate driving his truck. It's too big. I'm too high off the ground. The hood seems to go on forever. I hate why I have to drive the truck and I feel guilty for being upset. My stomach drops as I realize I'm going to have to park this massive beast. Sorry, Sweet Irene, but you're a bitch. Somehow, I'm able to park it decently enough that I don't have to back out and try again.
I turn the engine off. Emerson doesn't move to get out. He's staring out the window.
“We're here,” I say, feeling stupid for pointing out the obvious. He blinks and glances around as if he's just realized we've stopped. My shoulders droop. Damn it, this isn't good. I don't know if I need to give him space now or not. I don't know if I should ask. His phone rings. He frowns and hands it to me. It's his mom. I answer, explaining that we came home instead of going back like we said we would. She tells me to take care of him and I want to scream.
