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When I stepped out of the bathroom, I was caught by surprise to see Ginger sitting on the bed. “Where’s Lil’ Man?”
“I put him down in his room.”
Hearing her refer to it as “his room” brought a smile to my lips. I placed my hand on the top of the towel around my waist. “Should I even bother getting dressed?”
She shook her head, laughing. “Do you think of anything other than sex?”
“Yeah, I have to eat.”
I winked and strolled over to the dresser. I dropped the towel then looked back over my shoulder to see her watching me. “Enjoying the view?”
“Maybe.”
After I pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, her arms wrapped around my waist. She laid her head against my back, and I covered her hands with mine.
Her grip tightened as she peppered kisses against my skin.
“You all right?”
I felt her nod. I turned to face her, and circled my arms around her waist. She put her hands on my chest, her fingers played with the hairs there. She wouldn’t look at me.
“Baby, what’s going on?”
She shrugged. “It...it’s hard to explain. Just sometimes I get this feeling of dread, you know like waiting for the bottom to drop out. Especially…” She paused and looked up at me. “Especially when things are looking up. I get nervous.”
“Nervous?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Um, I can’t just live in the moment because I start wondering when the bad will hit.”
I reached up to hold her face. “What do you think will go wrong?”
“I don’t know. That’s what makes the rock in the pit of my stomach so much worse. The unknown. I’ve been adrift for so long, lost on any real direction. You’ve become my anchor. I feel grounded again, and it scares me.”
“Why? Wouldn’t being grounded be a good thing?”
“I don’t want to depend on anyone else for my happiness. Because if I lose them…lose you…I’d be lost all over again. And I don’t want to be only a taker in this. I know what it’s like to be in that sort of relationship and depending on you like that, putting all my crap on your shoulders…”
She pulled away and took a seat on the bench. I leaned back against the dresser, watching as she concentrated on twirling the ring around her finger.
I went over and knelt in front of her. “You’re not a taker, but even if you were, I wouldn’t mind. You’ve earned that right. If you’re worried that I’m somehow feeling jipped in this, I’m not. Baby, I’ve told you I love you and the only thing I’ve wanted from you is you. You’re giving me that. You’ve stopped pushing me away. You’re opening up to me. I’m getting a hell of a lot out of this.”
She smiled and slid forward to wrap her arms around my neck. I returned the hug, circling my arms around her waist.
“You know how to make me feel better.”
“I’m your person.”
She pulled back and her brows pulled together. “What?”
“Something Macy said when she invited herself over last week. She opened up about when she was taken and how Mitch was the person she needed most during her recovery. He was who she felt most comfortable talking to. She said I was that for you. I didn’t believe her, but this is one time I don’t mind her being right. Put it on me, baby. I’m your person, anchor, whatever you need me to be. I’m happy to have the job.”
She leaned forward to kiss me. “It has crap pay.”
I smiled against her lips. “But excellent benefits,” I replied before kissing her again.
Chapter 47
Calida
