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Ginger rolled her eyes as she took her seat. She tried to look angry, but I spotted a smile on her face. The scene before me was one I could get used to. Us sitting, having dinner like a family, I could do this every day. She made me want this. I watched as she cut up pieces of the slice into a manageable bite-size for Shawn. She brushed the hair from his face before giving him his dinner. We talked about random things. The atmosphere was relaxed, just as it should be with us.
After dinner, Ginger cleaned up Shawn, who’d managed to get pizza sauce all over his face and clothes. I wasn’t sure how much food the boy actually consumed, but he was a funny sight smiling brightly, with pizza sauce turning his face red. He even had some in his hair. She carried him off to the bathroom, and I put away the leftovers then got the movie ready.
Forty-five minutes into the movie, Shawn fell asleep. He was laid out, spread eagle, on the rug surrounded by the CD cases he’d pulled down to play with. Apparently, my carefully organized music collection made for a better toy than the items his mother travelled with.
“I should take him home.”
“Aww, you’re gonna make me watch Gru and the minions alone? Not to mention I’m gonna have to spend hours of my life reorganizing my CD—”
“What? You told me it was okay when I tried to stop him.”
“I’m joking, Ginger. It really isn’t that big of a deal.”
I reached out, letting my finger trace the outline of her jaw. I wanted to kiss her, but stopped, recalling the look on her face at the house. She’d look nervous, or scared. I couldn’t tell which, but I knew neither was a good option. Then she’d flinched when I went to open her car door. That same nervous look was all over her face now. I dropped my hand.
She stood. “I really should go.”
“How long will I face this?” I stood as she had. “Because I’m more than prepared to knock that damn wall down brick by brick.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I want us, Ginger. I want us to work. I want more nights like this one, the three of us together.” I stepped closer to her.
She put her hands on my chest, pushing me back. Keeping me at a distance.
“Mal…”
“I know, you need time, and I can give you that, but what I can’t and won’t do is continue to be kept at a distance. I let you do that for two years. I respected that you needed time to heal and that you’d rather do it alone than let me help you, but now…” I wrapped my hands around her wrists. “You just have to give me, give us a chance. A real chance. That’s all I’m asking.”
She looked up at me but said nothing. Her eyes closed briefly, I saw the rise and fall of her chest as she took in a slow breath. She pulled her hands free of mine and stepped away.
“I should go.”
I swallowed my retort, even though everything in me wanted her to stay, to talk to me. I wouldn’t push the issue.
“I’ll carry him down for you.”
We didn’t speak in the elevator or on the short walk to Ginger’s car which, was parked in my second assigned space in the covered garage. She hit the unlock button on her key ring. The car beeped, and the tail lights flashed. I opened the backdoor and started to buckle Shawn into his car seat.
“Thanks again for inviting us over. I had a good time.”
I remained quiet while buckling Shawn in. When I finished, I closed the door then stared at Shawn’s sleeping form through the window. My gaze then went to Ginger’s reflection.
I turned to face her. “Yeah, me too.” I wanted to hold her, to say or do something that would let her know she had no reason to be afraid, but I remained clueless as to what. It was a mystery to be solved on another day. I opened her car door for her. “Drive safely.”
She walked toward me, but stopped just before getting in. Ginger laid her hand on my chest, but she wouldn’t look at me. She pulled her hand back then got into her little SUV.
“Goodnight, Mal.”
Chapter 6
Calida
Shawn woke a little when I unbuc
kled him from the seat, so instead of putting him in his own room, I carried him to mine. After changing into my PJs, I snuggled up with my baby. Gently, I moved his dark curls off his forehead and gave him a kiss. My sweet, innocent baby boy. I pulled the covers up around us and like most nights, fell into a troubled sleep.
I awoke to wet, sloppy kisses as Shawn tried to eat my nose. My breath caught in my throat when I opened my eyes to be met with his. That momentary fright got replaced with the familiar guilt. I pushed down my urge to roll away and forced a smile on my face as I greeted my son.
