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“What do you want, Mal?”
“I want to erase the sadness that always seems to be in your eyes. I want you to not flinch when I hug you. I want you to feel like you can count on me for any and everything. I want you to look at me and believe that I love you and that I’d never hurt you. But beyond all that, I simply want you. You don’t have to be anything other than who you are.”
She wrapped her arms around my waist, and rested her head on my chest. “I don’t care what Macy says
about you, you’re an okay guy.”
I laughed, closing my arms around her. Having her initiate contact with me made me feel like I’d won the lotto.
“Just okay? I think I’m pretty damned spectacular.”
“I’m sure you do.”
I felt dampness on my shirt, so I tightened my hold on her, and stroked her back softly. “What do you want, Ginger?”
“I…” she stopped, sniffling as she pulled away. She wiped the wet spot on my shirt. “Sorry.”
“No biggie.”
She looked around the empty room before bringing her eyes back to me. They were red from her crying, as was the tip of her nose. Everything I’d just told her I wanted was true. But there was no magic fix to take away her sadness, no matter how much I wished differently.
Her tears were my kryptonite.
“You’re going to need more furniture than what you have at your condo.”
Two steps forward, but about a hundred steps backwards She kept fighting against any and everything that she thought was a kink in her emotional armor. I wanted to push her to answer the question, but I already knew the outcome of what would happen. Today was supposed to be a happy day.
“Good thing I’m dating an interior designer then. She can help me pick out all new stuff. Saves me the trouble of making it look like some bachelor pad only for you to change it when you move in. Eventually...eventually move in,” I added, seeing the look of protest on her face. “But we’ll worry about that tomorrow. Today we have to just go get a grill and some lawn chairs, since the first official celebration in this place will be in honor of your birthday.”
“What did you do?”
“Who me? Nothing...much. Just having a small family gathering.” The frown on her face got bigger. “Don’t blame me entirely, you know Macy. No way she was letting you not celebrate your birthday again.”
She laughed. “Your sister is very bossy.”
“You picked her as your friend. I didn’t get a choice in having her be my sister.”
“So, this is my fault then?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Chapter 20
Calida
Walking into my house, I welcomed the quiet after spending all day with Malcolm and our families. As much as I loved them, I always felt as though I was being watched. How’s Calida doing? Is she smiling enough? How’s she acting around Malcolm? On top of fielding relationship questions, they all assumed the next step would be me moving in with Mal. It was exhausting to keep up with everything they expected from me. I now had to add being self-conscious about how much I drank after the comment Malcolm made.
Shawn squirmed in my arms, readjusting himself as he slept. Placing a kiss on his nose, I repositioned him to better adjust his weight before maneuvering up the stairs. He was getting so big, and he seemed to double in weight when he slept.
Dorian was coming in just as I got back downstairs. All I wanted to do was curl up on the sofa with a glass of wine and enjoy the silence, so I prayed she wasn’t in a talkative mood.
“How was the cookout?”
“Good. Sorry you missed it.”
She rolled her eyes. “You are such a crap liar.”
I walked over to the bar, grabbed a bottle of Chardonnay from the wine fridge, and pulled down two glasses. “I’ll work on that.”
