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I walked toward the sound of gunfire and Shawn’s happy squeals. He sat in Malcolm’s lap, hitting at the game controller as Malcolm attempted to play some game. He was okay. Relief was replaced with nervousness. Malcolm looked so at ease smiling, and playing with my son. What was I supposed to say to him after what I did last night?
“Thanks a lot, kid, I just took one to the head.” Malcolm smiled when he saw me. “Good morning.”
Shawn wiggled free, and climbed down to come over to me. I bent over to pick him up, and gave him a tight hug. The unconditional love of my little boy was what I needed right now. He didn’t judge me. He didn’t have any expectations. As far as he was concerned, I was his whole world.
“You want coffee or something to eat?”
I turned my attention to Malcolm. Shirtless, he only wore shorts, those same ones from last night. The ones I’d asked him not to put on. My eyes lingered for too long on those damn shorts. My face and ears got warm. I looked up to see him smiling at me.
“You keep looking at me like I’m a piece of meat, I’m going to start to question your intentions toward me.”
“What! I wasn’t.”
“It’s okay. I know I’m a fine specimen to behold.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. Cocky bastard. But that’s how he’d always been.
Shawn twisted, trying to get free. I put him down, and he went back to the mess that was the contents of the diaper bag scattered about the floor.
“Why didn’t you wake me? You didn’t have to get up with him.”
Malcolm strolled over to me. My stomach did flips. He reached out to smooth down strands of my hair. My hand went to my head, remembering I had terrible bedhead most mornings. “Sorry. I must be a mess. I was in a rush.”
He took my hand, bringing it to his lips. “I like seeing you like this.”
He kept a hold of my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. His eyes searched my face. I didn’t know how to respond. A loud crash got our attention. Shawn had knocked down some of the CDs off the shelf.
Malcolm shook his head and laughed. “He’s been trying to get those all morning.”
Shawn smiled, looking very proud of himself.
“Maybe you should consider moving into the digital age and not keep those.”
Malcolm put his hand on his chest. “You wound me woman.”
I headed over to start cleaning up, and Malcolm went to the kitchen. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. They need to go in order. Coffee?”
“Yes, thank you.” I moved to sit on the couch, watching as Shawn happily crashed the cases together.
Mal took a seat beside me. “I didn’t mind getting up with him. You were sleeping peacefully, and I didn’t want to disturb you.”
I took a sip of the dark liquid, frowning at the bitter taste. “Plain black?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know how you take your coffee.”
I got up to add some sugar and creamer to my cup. My thoughts went to what he said about me sleeping peacefully. Even though we were up late last night, I did feel rested for the first time in a long time. I looked up to see Shawn sitting on the couch next to Mal, resting against him while Malcolm looked for something on TV.
I returned to my seat, and Shawn climbed into my lap as we settled back to watch the children’s show Mal found. His fingers stroked the back of my neck. I turned to look at him; all playfulness was gone from his face.
“Are you okay?”
“I…I don’t know to be honest.” I took a drink of my coffee.
Shawn moved to sit between us, his head rested on Malcolm’s leg, and his feet rested on mine. I smiled at him before turning my attention back to Malcolm.
“Last night...I acted impulsively. The last few days, my world has gone haywire. Trying to deal with everything I’d not wanted to deal with.” I turned my gaze away, choosing to focus on Shawn’s feet.
Malcolm’s hand was on my chin, and he turned my head to look at him. I wished he hadn’t. The pained expression he wore filled me with remorse.
